squares of goodness

i shall meet my love
in squares rich with life's goodness
then we shall hang out

one's possessive rule
amongst soft squares of plush goodness
the blue monster plays

i'm really liking goodness and squares. i could do a whole book of haikus just featuring squares of goodness... makes me think of brownies or baklava (before it's cut).

facebooking

i had been invited to join facebook over a year ago by a coaching colleague. because im a bit of a snob, i ignored the request. after all, i was already a member of friendster, linkedin, and probably several other networking sites i've forgotten about since joining.

yet, while hangin' here in Mpls (that's short for Minneapolis), LE was talking about playing scrabble on facebook with various friends, and how fun it was, and how our lives would be improved 100 times if only DB and i would join, too.

then yesterday, while i was reading and waiting for laundry to finish, DB was being his mischevious self. i came up to see what he was doing... he was editing his new facebook profile.

ET TU BRUTE

so now, instead of driving to Madison, Wisconsin, experiencing the best cheese america has to offer, i have spent the morning facebooking.

brief episodes of vasospasm

previously on faerie moon... initial blood screenings came back indicating Lupus and Raynaud's (a vascular disease). further blood was drawn and we were waiting for the medical establishment to let us know the lowdown.

********

doc called this week. with the recent barrage of tests, only one came back positive (mRNA). doc consulted a rheumatologist, and they told him that unless my liver is having problems (which it apparently isn't), a positive mRNA is meaningless, thus i have Raynaud's Disease (aka primary Raynaud's).

this means there is no underlying cause (such as an autoimmune disease, etc.) however, there is no cure for Raynaud's, so please do not ask me to get you some ice cream from the freezer... you'll have to get it yourself.

you're smart, so you probably inferred that i do not have Lupus. there is still a 1 in 20 chance i will develop Lupus or another such disease (according to doc).

treatment: i'm supposed to avoid cold and stress.
um.... that's what i've been trying to do for years! another valid reason to move to mexico, and be spoon fed ice cream :)

back to the mRNA thingy...
for some reason im having some difficulty believing a positive mRNA (or whatever the test was) doesn't have significance or some kind of meaning. if it was unimportant/meaningless they wouldn't test for it, right? there must be SOME meaning. it must mean SOMETHING. even if it just means "your RNA says 'hello' and wishes you'd take a vacation" or "you eat too much bread and have allergies to flies" (which i just made up, so if you're trying to find out what your positive mRNA test means, thats not it!)

and the interweb is no help in finding the mRNA meaning. so, when i get to NYC (which is where im moving this summer), i'll have to get in touch with local medical researchers and such to find out if anyone can tell me. i have two weird fears...

1. our rural docs are idiots,
2. they know i dont have medical insurance and whatever is wrong is in pretty early stages and non-fatal so they aren't telling me i have something so that i'm not denied health insurance.

but that's just a tiny paranoid part of my brain that wonders such things. the rest of my brain is saying... "now, where do i get a cute pair of oven mitts to wear when i eat ice cream?" etsy? ... i see a business opportunity for someone...

art nerd

in drawing class we've been learning to draw perspective. we started out with single point perspective. (imagine looking off into the distance, and on the horizon directly in front of you is what is called your "vanishing point" - the point at which all lines converge and appear to vanish). single point perspective is challenging and not my fav.

next we moved onto two point perspective. this is where you may be looking at a single object (say, a building) and can see at least two sides of the object (imagine standing on the corner, looking at a house), and that object has two vanishing points - one to it's right and one to it's left. depending on where you place your horizon (above, below, or in the center of the object) you can see the top, bottom or frontal view. and depending where you put your vanishing points (closer to the object or further away) the distortion of the object changes. it's really quite fascinating.

in case you can't tell, learning this made me giddy. it isn't just that i can draw this... i also loved the way my instructor taught the class how to draw... it was a problem solving exercise. he just gave us a couple loose parameters and said "i can't tell you any more than that or it will give it away" and we had to figure out how to do it ourselves. brilliantly taught! i had a smile when he came around to check how i was doing. i was so proud of myself :) in fact, i spent the entire walk home yesterday (just over a mile) reveling in my newly acquired ability to draw two point linear perspective.

once home, i filled three pages of my sketchbook with 2pt linear perspective drawings - several drawings per page. i used the same object example for all the drawings on one page, but adjusted the vanishing points and horizon location just to see how this would alter the look of the object. on my final drawing, i created a T - shaped building with a partial 2 story center, windows and doors. it looks like it could be a real place.

yes, i can draw 3D and make up entire cities and buildings seen from above or below or straight on, using only my imagination, a piece of paper, a pencil and a ruler. this, my friends, is what fun is all about.

true story.

one duck's laughter

did i mention we have 3 ducks? two females and one male. one of them is a laugher. yeah, ducks can laugh. it's almost as good as the "tickle me elmo" doll.

every time someone leaves the house the duck belts out a good laugh - "quaaack quack quack quack!" sometimes i wonder... "hey, what's so darn funny?"

ive decided it's the male duck that cracks up every time we leave. why would only one of two female ducks laugh? wouldn't they both laugh? for some reason i think its a gender thing. it has to be the lone male.

ive decided he's our guard duck. he lets us all know when elvis has left the building.

they also eat bugs and chomp on our compost. oh, and they like strawberries and snails the best.

we have 3 good ducks.

angel pick me up mercury

played a rousing game of pick-up-stix with 1/5 box of angel hair pasta this afternoon.

i don't know how or why, but i picked the box up open-end down. and only a couple hours after mopping the kitchen floor! fortunately most of the pasta was salvagable, and yes i did cook and eat it.

c'mon! i just mopped. the floor is clean!

turns out, mercury will be in retrograde on June 15th. this puts us in it's "shadow" period, where its starting to slow down before turning direction. can i ever feel it. its also amusing that i started feeling it before i had any idea it was happening.

not a whole lot else to report on today. except that our replacement bed arrived, we washed all the bedding, and we borrowed our neighbor's vacuum and vaccummed the whole apartment. aaahhh, the chi is flowing and the air is fresh. lets hope mercury doesn't cause too much food related spillage!

Making Brown Sugar

I didn't believe DB when he told me I could make my own brown sugar using white sugar and molasses. After all, he's notorious for making stuff up. Since I didn't feel like walking to the grocery and spending $2 on sugar when we already had white sugar and molasses, I figured I'd give it a shot.

Here's how it works...

Let's say you need 1 cup of brown sugar.
Measure out 1 cup of white sugar into a small bowl.
Add one teaspoon of molasses.
Mix with a fork for 5 minutes, smushing the molasses into the white sugar until it's all mixed in.

Fixing Problem Sugar:
*If it's not dark enough, add a tiny bit more molasses and continue mixing.
*If you add too much molasses and end up with super dark and stinky brown sugar, just keep adding white sugar until it's the color you like. Measure out the amount you need, and save the unused brown sugar in a jar for another day. Just make sure to put a cracker in there to keep it fresh.

Death and Taxes

Doing my taxes today... again. It's a bit of a neverending process with the Federal, AND the two states. Remind me only to move between states on the 31st of December for the sake of simplicity of the tax return process. Oh, and remind me to stop living in states that have state taxes - also for simplicity sake.

Oh, right. Why am I blogging about my taxes, you ask?

There is an income adjustment on the 2006 CA state tax return for Ottoman Turkish Empire Settlement Payments.

I was so surprised to see this that I rushed right here to tell you about it. And, having forgot all of those important historical facts from World Civ I / II, I have no clue what the hell this settlement payment thingy is about - only that I find it odd to show up on the 2006 CA state tax return.

PS. I have so much I meant to blog about over the last few months, and I will try to fill you in later about my Phoenix adventures, Deloris Huerta (big time playa in the activist scene), my health care scare, and the Belgian Beer Festival.

because you are bored

Flickr's Warholizer will keep you busy for at least half an hour, if not more. try it. you'll like it.

pretty peacocks

Looking through the Gump's catalogue and I'm entranced by their Peacock Christmas Tree. Shimmers and sparkles! I highly suggest clicking the image to zoom for additional views and then zooming all the way in for the best looksee.

a day of reading

today was a reading day. i didn't know that was the kind of day it would be, but it was.

i read in my pajamas. i read while i ate spinach salad with yummy bacon for lunch. i read while drinking chai (still in my pajamas). i put some shorts and a t-shirt on and read up at The Cliffs while the sunshine warmed my face and legs. I read and read and read.

now i shall shower so i am clean for my pizza date with my lovebird.

Confessions

Somehow I talked DB into taking me to see Dashboard Confessional and Brand New. He's not a big fan of such music, but I happen to love the mushy lyrics accompanied by a whiney screaming chorus.

I'm sad to say, I was disaapointed by Brand New. I really thought they'd be so much cooler than they were. But it kind of seemed like there was this frat boy leading a band of emo punks... and he just kicked stuff around and rolled on the ground. It was sloppy, as was his singing/screaming and guitar playing. The bass player rocked though. And so did the back up screamer - who has the most perfect screaming whine ever!

Dashboard was tight - and I don't use that word loosly. They really had their act together - great and smooth playing, excellent ability to engage the audience. As DB said of Chris (the lead), "He could insight a riot right now." And he could have. He had all the screaming teen girls and gay boys going mad. I'm not joking. When during one of several chat-it-up-with-the-audience-monologues Chris said "Imagine if we'd never met," there was a guy behind us (who didn't even set my gaydar off) who in all dramatic seriousness said "Oh no, don't even say that!"

It occurred to me, as I was trying to figure Dashboard out, that Chris is a drag queen in tight pants. He looked like an old school Beastie Boy, but sounded like a New Kid. He is so incredibly theatrical, and his voice is clearly that of a choir-geek (being a choir geek myself, I can easily spot the good student who paid attention in class when the teacher talked about clear enunciation, the raising the eyebrows to lift the palette and round out the sounds). And, I confess, I was reminded of my late 80s days in middle and early high school when I'd tune in to the late night radio request shows - the ones that inevitably played dozens of christian rock tunes about friendship and god's forgiving love.

"Friends are friends forever, if the Lord's the Lord of them..."

our first rain

it's raining. we've been here three months, and its actually raining for the first time. the rain seems to come in spurts of abut 15 minutes of hard rain, then clear skies, then 15 minutes, then clear skies. we don't really have an umbrella, so we're stuck inside. thus, we decided to record our indoor adventure.

me: oh man, i forgot... we're out of chocolate silk. all we have is vanilla silk. how am i gonna eat my autumn wheat without chocolate silk?

db: vanilla silk is good.

me(from the kitchen): oh no! it gets worse! i ate the last of the autumn wheat yesterday! multigrain flakes and vanilla silk? what am i gonna do?

db: im going to do an I Ching reading for today.

db *tosses coins*

db: the bird meets misfortune through flying. she passes by her ancestor and meets her ancestress. he does not reach his prince and meets the official. no blame.

me: so, we shouldn't leave the house?

db: if one is not extremely careful, somebody may come up from behind and strike him. misfortune. *laughs* no blame. he meets him without passing by. going brings danger. one must be on guard. do not act. be constantly preserving.

me: so, we shouldn't leave the house.

db: i think it essentially means we shouldn't leave the house.

two hours later... (rain has stopped, the sun shines and it's toasty warm out)

me: what do you wanna do today?

db: wanna go downtown?

me: okay!

db: we can get some quarters and play air hockey.

me: yeah!

pepperoni showdown

body: "no, please! anything but pepperoni!"

mouth: "gimme that pepperoni..."

*brief scuffle*

winner: mouth.

new fun

YAY!

My camera arrived on Monday and I've been running around taking photos of my art. Now you can see all my newest creations...

I suggest starting with my most recent paintings, then taking a quick stop over at the tape art and new light switch plates I've been working on in my crafts section.

I haven't taken any photos of the neighborhood yet b/c its been a bit cloudy this week. But the sun has just come out to play today, so perhaps there will be something here later?

broccoli again

we've been eating broccoli weekly for about a month and i can't think of any other existing vegetables to make! i guess there is asparagus or brussle sprouts, but what other vegetables exist??? are there any? just salad?

knowing how badly you'd want to know, too... i did a search and found... botanists, biologists, horticulturalists, linguists and even the US Supreme Court are interested in the definition of a vegetable.

Definitions of vegetable on the Web:

wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
• edible seeds or roots or stems or leaves or bulbs or tubers or nonsweet fruits of any of numerous herbaceous plant any of various herbaceous plants cultivated for an edible part such as the fruit or the root of the beet or the leaf of spinach or the seeds of bean plants or the flower buds of broccoli or cauliflower
• of the nature of or characteristic of or derived from plants; "decaying vegetable matter"
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vegetable
• Vegetable is a nutritional and culinary term denoting any part of a plant that is commonly consumed by humans as food, but is not regarded as a culinary fruit, nut, herb, spice, or grain.
www.inspection.gc.ca/english/anima/fispoi/manman/samnem/define.shtml
• The odour/flavour stimulus associated with certain vegetables such as turnips or cabbage.
library.thinkquest.org/13799/html/glossary.html
• a plant food. Generally, if it has seeds inside, it is considered a fruit.
www.knowledgebank.irri.org/glossary/Glossary/V.htm
• A herbaceous plant grown for eating, usually eaten as part of a meal.
www.futureharvest.org/about/glossary.shtml
• part of a plant consumed for nutrition.
www.garden-advice.user.xirium.com/knowledge/glossary/
• A plant, or part of a plant, that is grown and used for food. Examples are Carrots, Potatoes, Cabbage, Parsnip, Beans and Kale

North Carolina Department of Agriculture even gets in on the defining gig by essentially saying " It is custom which seems to dictate which plants are treated as vegetables and which as fruit but, generally speaking, vegetables are classified as those annual plants of which the immature succulent roots, bulbs, stems, blossoms, leaves, seeds, or fruits are eaten, and those perennial non-woody plants of which the roots, stems, leaf stalks or leaves are eaten." They also mention that horticulturalists would classify watermellon as veggies!

Semantic Compositions has an amusing blog article about vegetables, particularly tomatoes (which they argue is a veggie). I particularly enjoy the part about the US Supreme Court ruling back in the 1800's.

i am veronica mars

I'm at my boyfriend's house and everyone is getting ready for bed. It's still daylight, so I'm still up, and apparently going to head out to my old brown station wagon in a bit where I'll sleep. And even though my boyfriend is rich beyond belief and has a huge house, this doesn't seem so strange.

As he starts up the stairs he tells me to ask his bestfriend to walk me out if he's asleep. The ridiculously oblivious Duncan Kane has no idea that he's just answered my prayers.

I sit at the dining table pondering the details of my latest case. How will I save Grace? I jump slightly as I hear someone behind me stir. I turn my head over my right shoulder to see Logan Echolls jumping up from the leather recliner. I had thought he was upstairs.

He says something Loganesque, his typical attempt to keep things superficial. Stopping near me, and with kindness and sincerity he asks "Hey, are you alright?" I tell him about the case, but I don't tell him how badly I want him.

Duncan comes back down, and I feel strangely guilty just sitting here with Logan. It's time to go, and Logan offers to walk me out.

We walk between two brick buildings and down some stairs before noticing a door slightly ajar. I look in. It's Jenny McCarthy in a spot light singing some awful 70's song. Her voice off key and cracking. Logan has slipped through the door, and I step in.

The producer turns as to look at me as Logan slips back out.
"Um, my dog, Snoopy," I say and quickly exit.

Back outside. "Jesus, Logan. What were you thinking?"
"I grabbed this piece of paper in there. Look." He hands me a small piece of paper with writing on each side. The back has a series of numbers. 14, 20, 31... I get the feeling that they're to a combination lock...

mamoth birds

um, i just came back from watching the sunset (it sets earlier here b/c the earth is rounder at this latitude, so the sun's light has farther to shine around to make it to our faces at this hour), and i'd say i missed it by two minutes and a good 6 inches of cloud on the horizon.

what i really wanted to say, is not about the sunset. it is about the mamoth sized Birds of Paradise I noticed on my way back. I kid you not. These two flowers were as big as my head!

a few fun finds for friday:
decorabilia has tons of amusing bibilical references... this article discusses Thaddeus of the 12 disciples: "Depending on which edition of the original Greek New Testament is consulted, Thaddeus was a machinist or an electrical engineer. Even the origin and meaning of his name is obscure."

Marian Apparitions has a super account of the various sightings of the Virgin Mary and secret messages held in the Secret Archives of the Vatican (which really exist).

And if you ever wondered what your website looks like to colorblind folks... here's your chance to take a peek with VisCheck. Fun times. I'd like to mention that the Tritanope view makes my site all pink and pretty. If I were colorblind I'd want to see everything in pink.

figeater scarab beetle

these guys like to land on me. they are sacred and special. find out why...

http://totaleclipseanimations.homestead.com/TotalSolarEclipseScarab.html

http://www.sniksnak.com/lore2.html

http://www.skyscript.co.uk/cancer_myth.html

http://www.shira.net/symbols.htm

mallrats

we spent almost the entire weekend at the mall (aptly named "fashion valley").

we didn't bring much clothing when we moved out here, most of our clothes were way too big on us and rather worn, and we figured it's pretty warm so we could just buy a few new things after getting a good handle on the weather. consequently, on arrival db had one pair of shorts and one pair of dress-up pants for interviewing.

we already tackled the shorts problem early on, but hadn't been able to find db a good pair of pants that fit well. so, once again, we went shopping for db's new pants.

after trying on various styles at old navy and the gap (who either don't have his size, or have wastes that reach his nipples), we spontaneously stopped in banana for a look around. mostly we were there for my benefit, but eventually we wandered into the mens section and found the jeans.

there happened to be one pair in db's size hanging on the sale rack, so we grabbed them and headed to the dressing room. perfect fit, perfect price - it would have been a crime to let them slip through his fingers.

and this was just the beginning of our journey!

we stopped in at the apple store, and db bought me a much appreciated belated birthday gift - a camera I've been eyeing for months. it seemed like such a good price. afterall, i remember it being between $50-$75 more when I started looking at it.

but when we got home we checked it out on amazon and found it to be a good $30 cheaper ($45 if you count tax). i don't know why we didn't research the prices online ahead of time - its usually something i do. anyway, with the extra savings, we could get a memory card for the camera too. so, db bought me a second camera on amazon, and we resolved to return the first to the apple store the next day.

we arrived at the mall 10 minutes before opening, finding dozens of people congregated in front of the apple store doors, waiting, we presumed, for the release of the new iPod nano. it was slightly ridiculous, yet we were there too, and no one could know that our reason was not to succumb to the latest fashion craze of a pink nano.

doors opened, we waited only a short while in line, and then were invited to a registered.

apple guy: "hey."
db: "I'd like to return this." (i had over the box and receipt.
apple guy: "what's going on?" (presumably wanting to know why we are returning it)
me: "um, just a return."

apple guy looks at the box, turns it over a few times, opens it up and takes everything out, inspecting each piece before putting it back in, closing the box, turning it over and over looking at the box and opening it up again and looking inside.

apple guy: "what's missing?"
me: "uh, there shouldn't be anything missing we didn't even open the box." (wondering if this guy is gonna give us trouble)

apple guy goes back and forth from reading the back of the box to checking the contents.
apple girl comes up to the register to see if apple guy needs any help.

apple guy: "they said they didn't open it. i don't know what to do."
apple girl: "i'll reshelve it."

apple guy gives us our refund and we exit.

does anyone else find this situation to be slightly odd?

moving on... our next stop is the movie theater to buy tickets to the 1:10pm show of Pirates of the Caribbean 2. with two hours before the movie we look around at some other fancy stores, home goods, etc., then stop at Uno's for lunch.

a bit like the crappy harvard ave Uno's, there is still a nostalgic feeling to be felt as we enjoy a warm cookie with ice cream, just like the winter we met... only we're outside in the warm sun.

the lady next to us calls the server over - "can i order a shot of tequila for this?" she points to her margarita.
server: "sure, is there something wrong with your drink?"
customer: "well, i can't taste the tequila in it."
server: "i see. the tequila we use is top shelf, so you may not taste it."
customer: "well, can i have another shot of tequila to put in it?"
server 2: "what's the problem?"
server 1 to server 2: "she can't taste the tequila in her margarita."
server 2 to customer: "the tequila is a top quality brand, so it is filtered more than lower quality tequilas, so you won't be able to taste the alcohol."
customer: "oh. are you sure they even put any in it?"
server 1: "yes, absolutely."
customer: "can i get another shot to put in it?"
server 1: "yes, I'll be right back."

after lunch and the fantastic sequel to Pirates of the Caribbean, we finally headed home. full-up and ready for the beach.

sand wasps

I've managed to find the most interesting thing in the universe right here in my back yard... the Sand Wasp!

Why is this wasp so damn interesting? Well, look at! It's BLUE and black striped, with bright little yellow-green legs. Have you ever seen a wasp like this? Gorgeous.



They are such sweet little things, too. I asked some of them to stop flying about so I could get a closer look and they did. They just landed right on the sand in front of me and let me get all close while they waited.

but seriously folks

i am so tan, i make wheat bread look white.

if tan were a superhero they'd call me SuperTan.

ive got a tan sooo dark, people actually think im from california.

for serious. im pretty sure you have never ever in your whole life time seen me as tan as i am in this very moment - unless you knew me when i was 8 years old or 14 years old... then, maybe.

best and worst #3

the best thing about going to the beach every day is seeing the dolphins up close and personal.

the worst thing about going to the beach every day is seeing the ocean floor... up close and personal.

Macgyver

Shopping List:

Two nails
One spool fish line
One sheet of sand paper
One box of 100 sandwich bags
One #2 Exacto knife
2 lbs bananas
8 light switch plates

for a good poo

Every tried Amaranth?

No, it's not some fancy European drink - you're thinking of something else.

Amaranth is some kind of healthy grain with a whole heck of a lot of fiber and the uncanny ability to move through you in about the amount of time it takes to finish a bowl of Amaranth cereal.

No joke.

yahtzee addicts

One of the first purchases Daniel and I made was a set of 5 die which came with 2 decks of horribly manufactured cards.

After several dozen or so games of Bilge, we got bored and decided to figure out how to play Yahtzee.

We found a decent set of rules and strategies and I promptly set out to make a scorecard using Excel.

After a few hundred games over the course of a week we started to get bored. How could we spice it up a bit... then it occurred to us - what about Triple Yahtzee???

Click to view a scorecard from a recent game.

Click to download your own auto-calculating Yahtzee scorecard complete with three single game sheets, three Triple Yahtzee sheet, and cell comments.

disconnect

disconnect, n

a lack of connection

woke up a good 30 minutes early today, around 6am. it's kind of nice to wake early and just lay there thinking and relaxing before starting your day.

anyway, i showered, dressed, ate and gathered up my things. and as i was heading out the door at 7:21am (a whole 2 minutes early) i realized i didn't have my keys. i had to have my keys to get into the apartment b/c today is db's first day at work and he'll be home half an hour or more after me.

i rushed around frantically seeking those keys... for about ten seconds too long.

db tossed me his keys and said he'd try to find mine. i literally ran out the door, headed for the bus stop.

half way there, i wave and yell "nooooooo!" as i see the bus zip right by my stop. it didn't bother stopping at my stop b/c no one was there waiting - especially not me.

up ahead i can see folks are waiting at the next stop, so i keep running. i run a block and a half at full speed in my easySpirit shoes, grey slacks and black ann taylor sweater knowing i can catch that damn bus.

see, i have to catch this bus b/c the next one doesn't leave for more than half an hour. it connects with the other bus i need which gets me to my temp job exactly 10 minutes before i have to be there, at work.

a block away from the bus, still time to catch it, it dawns on me...
i don't have my bus pass. i didn't even pack my wallet.

i stop running. absolutely furious with myself i turn and begin the two block walk home.

at home, i enlist db in the key and now wallet search. has it all been stolen? why wasn't it with my other things? db finds my wallet in yesterday's shorts. i still can't find my damn keys.

finally i find them hiding under a sheet of paper against the wall. tricky little buggers, i almost never found them. and it's time to start my 4 mile walk to work. ive got an hour to get there.

now, on this walk i have to pass my bus stop. so, as im passing i look back, hopefully. it's a minor miracle. a bus pulls around the corner. it's not my bus, but it's a bus and it can get me to the Trolly at Old Town which can get me downtown. i hop on and start calculating.

if i can get on a Trolly right away and if the Trolly leaves by 8am, i should be able to make it to Little Italy by the time my connecting bus would be picking me up downtown on 3rd. i might have just enough time to catch it at 1st - and i definitely can catch it if it's running late (which it never does).

the bus connects perfectly with the Trolly which leaves exactly at 8am. i get off the Trolly at the Little Italy stop and start walking toward 1st. i had forgotten that it's several blocks to 1st... so i walk faster.

two blocks from 1st i see my bus drive through the intersection. i glance at the time - 8:11am. it's exactly on time.

damn! okay, okay. they go by about every 15mins... there might be another. i just need to get to the stop, check the schedule and figure it out from there.

the time table at the bus stop is ridiculous. my bus comes every few minutes, but this is the last stop for half of them and only some of them will keep going to where i need to go. the schedule gives the impression that most skip this stop altogether. where on earth do they pick people up if they skip this stop?

i decide to "play it safe" and walk to my usual connection location - about 8 or 9 blocks in the opposite direction that i am trying to go. i pass a few stops, no bus, i keep walking. i see my bus turn the corner and come toward me... im directly between two stops, 2 blocks in either direction - i can't make it. *!%#@.

i keep walking. i should still make it to my usual connection location by the time the 8:31am arrives. meanwhile, i call my temp agency to let them know that due to complete incompetence and insanity im running a bit behind.

i arrive at my regular connection spot at 8:29am, and i wait as i sweat profusely from all the running about. time ticks on... and on... and on... dear god, please tell me the bus was not early and i missed it.

8:38am rolls around, as does the bus. thank you thank you thank you.

best and worst #3

the best thing about going to the beach every day is playing the water and jumping through waves - both of which are excellent exercise.

the worst thing about going to the beach is how your lips start to feel like you've eaten a few too many handfulls of sunflower seeds.

friday finds

so, friday finds aren't usually my thing, but while temping, i have a bit of extra freetime on my hands and tend to run into the strangest things. so, here is what will hopefully be my only friday finds ever.

Build your own house for under $5000, using "cob" (not the thing in the center of your corn). Cob building is the latest in organic house building. These are pretty cool houses, too. Don't forget to click on the photo section.

Scrabbleshots: photos of scrabble boards, post-game - i have to get in on this.

i hate msn.com, but thats where the browser opens up to. chocolate virgin mary?

Did you know that Google has a built in calculator? You can just enter an equation or question into the Google bar (such as 5*3+1, or "How many ounces in a pint?") and get an answer. How cool is that?

How powerful are your intentions? Click here to manifest.

And have you seen this new blog? It belongs to Mahmood Ahmadinejad, president of Iran. Apparently, he just started it last Friday and lovingly refers to America as "Great Satan USA"... heehee. Don't forget to click the American Flag if you don't know Arabic, French or Farsi.

Email Conversation #1

Blast me. I made a pbj sandwich and promptly left it on the counter. Would you be so kind as to eat it for me?
Love,
Amy

I will eat it up nicely. Make sure you turn this into a positive event and get something yummy... maybe the universe wants you to treat yourself? yes.
Love,
Daniel

You are very right. I shall have a special treaty lunch in honor of the Universe.
Love,
Amy

best and worst #8

the best thing about going to the beach every day is it's free and it's fun!

the worst thing about going to the beach every day is how much you spend on sunscreen.

Most important question of all time

Where did the word cartoon come from?

Baffled when I woke up this morning, I thought an answer might be found by breaking it down into car and toon. But this gives absolutely no clue. I know what a car is, and it's not related to "cartoons". But toon has no meaning or value in our language pre-cartoon.

The next logical step... Wikipedia.

Cartoon is derived from the Italian, "cartone" which means "big paper" and is used for making large scale drawings as a study for a painting or tapestry... and probably even sculptures.

Huh. Makes sense.

Pelikenesis

1. pe-li-ki-ne-sis
2. pell-ih-kin-ee-sis

noun

the mental ability to move Pelicans without the use of physical force.

best and worst #5

the best thing about going to the beach every day is pretending to be a superhero and flying over the waves.

the worst thing about going to the beach every day is losing your nose ring in the pacific ocean - especially when you left your spare on the east coast.

best and worst #12

the best thing about going to the beach every day is getting a fantastic tan.

the worst thing about going to the beach every day is how much seaweed and sand you tend to bring home.

pretty pink bike

walking past a surf shop, there are half a dozen matching rental bikes on the sidewalk, red and pink.

db squeals: "Oooooh, I want the pink one!"

two steps later he asks - perhaps slightly embarrassed, "Did I just say that out loud?"

Official Wierdest Day Ever

Today started out normal enough. Strike that. Today did not start out normal in any sense of what has become "normal" for us in San Diego. And the day just got weirder. Note: Although cat sightings are not necessarily odd or abnormal, the frequency with which we saw cats today was certifiably peculiar.

7am
Usually I am the first to wake and rise. Today, DB woke first and I slept a bit later waking with something like a summer cold. This in itself is unusual since I rarely get sick and mostly only from stress. Turns out, I'm a tad stressed.

Also, neither of us had bad dreams - amazing since we've both been having bad dreams since we moved into our apartment. This could partly be due to the energetic clearing I did last night and/or because we moved our sleeping space to another area in the room. Hopefully this is a turning point in our dream-lives.

8:30am
Leaving the apartment we spot Max, our neighbor's cat. He stops to meow good-morning at us, and we oblige by meowing back.

1:30pm
On our way home from a movie we stopped at Peet's for my favorite - a DeCaf Mocha Freddo with Soy, and ended up getting it half free. I had a couple bucks left on my Peet's card, which the server applied toward the cost of the drink. The rest was to go on my Visa card. Oddly, the register flat out refused to charge my card. Now, let me be clear - my card was not denied. The register simply wouldn't recognize the transaction. This perplexed several Peet's staff and managers, and ultimately, not wanting to keep us in line any longer, they simply said "it's on us."

2:30pm
We're sitting in the vestibule minding our own business and I notice a seemingly respectable senior citizen outside the vestibule writing something on the wall with a permanent marker. I wait until he's finished and discretely take a peek to see what kind of graffiti this guy specializes in. I see a vertical length of tape running down the wall with the word Jesus neatly printed on it.

5:30pm
On the way to the beach we see a siamese cat a block from our place. We usually see this cutie at the Cliffs when we watch the sunset. It just meanders over to the cliffs and takes a seat to watch the beautiful light show.

Several blocks later we see a portly looking cat sitting on the ledge of a restaurant. It watches us. We stop to pet it, then continue on.

7pm
While walking home from the beach, my attention was caught by this woman standing in the driveway of a beach parking lot, cars driving around her, yelling out to no one in particular "You're not birds! You're human's!" I'm still rather unclear about the context of this exclamation.

7:15pm
Nearly home, we are approached by the oldest living cat in the state of California. It meows, sits and allows us to shower it with loving attention. We leave, it watches us as if to say "Hey, I'm not done letting you pet me."

8pm
Returning from watching the sunset, we see Max out near the parking lot. One of his owners comes around the corner chatting it up with Max in meow-speak. He see's us and says something to the effect of, "Just talking to my cat, I do that a lot," and half-embarrassed comments that we must think he's crazy.

meet the neighbors

we bought an ikea coffee table yesterday and found that we actually needed tools to put the damn thing together. usually ikea furniture doesn't require much and comes with a cheap wrench or whatever is required, but no. ours needed a philips head screw driver. sadly, the philips screw driver on my handy-dandy pocket knife just wasn't cutting it... or screwing it, so to speak. so, i went on an adventure to meet my neighbors.

ive boiled folks down to their stereotypcial essence for your reading pleasure. here's what we have so far:

the ex-cop
the nurse
the psychic
the young married couple with a cat named Max
the invisible asian guy
the surfer
the single father
the guy working in LA
and of course, the artist/life coach and the social/youth worker (that's me and db)

this sounds like the making of a reality show if you ask me.

interesting fact:
the psychic says when she moved in she could feel some spiritual presences in the building, so researched the building in public files... apparently, when it was first built (around 1920), our building was a brothel! yes, a real brothel. the ladies would stand out on the balcony and wave to the sailors as they went by. Later, in the 1960s the building became a nudist colony. And today, of course, it is the site of a crazy reality tv show called "living near the beach" and staring yours truly.

from the observation deck

i remembered some of the strange and interesting things we've noticed about san diego or the folks who live here. plus ive noticed a few more.

• people love to tell you that you will simply have to get a car to live here. im pretty sure none of these folks have ever taken the bus or trolley b/c if they had, they would know that its easy, affordable, clean and friendly. the trolley is pretty cool - it reminds me of the underground (aka subway) in london - super nice and spacious train cars.


• people on the bus are either too crazy to drive or too old, and that is why they take the bus. so, if you take the bus you must be able to tolerate crazy people, old people and crazy old people. listening to them talk to each other makes for an amusing way to pass the ride.


• every single time we've been on the bus, someone has gotten on the wrong bus and asks the driver or fellow passengers "is this the __ bus to ___?" the thing is... there are only TWO buses that serve our neighborhood, the 35 and 923. and every bus has the bus number and destination clearly displayed on its front and back reader boards. not only are the numbers very different (although they do share a "3"), but 35 only has two numbers in it, while 923 has three numbers in it. the length of the number should give some indication of which bus you're stepping onto. db and i have a 100% success rate for getting on the correct bus and we just moved here.


• lots of mohawks, especially on children... although we also saw lots of children at the airport in NY with mohawks, too. so, its probably not unique to CA.


• people are exceptionally friendly, cheerful and helpful at least 75% of the time. examples:
  • im pretty sure we've been welcomed to san diego about 30 times since we arrived. i dont recall being welcomed to boston once, except perhaps by the flight crew on their final arrival announcement.
  • our apartment manager went out of her way to help us get into our apartment by the 15th by expediting our application and credit checks, even though she didn't have to and there were plenty of people who could have taken the unit and waited the extra two weeks to get in.
  • the bus drivers have been more than happy to help us get all the places we've needed to go. and on our route a driver gladly helped two girls traveling abroad from Asia find their destination - even stopping the bus and pointing them in the correct direction down a street, all with a smile and kind tone of voice. in fact, it was actually as if the driver enjoyed helping people! this is something you will not see in boston with the frenzy speeding bus drivers there.
  • the cashiers at the co-op love their job and love us - they gave us the member discount even though we weren't yet members and were incredibly friendly and kind.


• the police are referred to as Peace Officers in all official written materials. their job is to keep peace, not necessarily to bust asses left and right. imagine a world of peace keeping instead of a world of policing.


• fruit is ridiculously cheap and absurdly fresh. strawberries are $2 per pint; avacados 50 cents each; mangos 39 cents each; cherries $2 per pint; cherry tomatos (red, purple or yellow) $2 per pint.


• ben and jerry's ice cream is a luxury item to aspire to at $4.49 per pint.


• jumping up and down in the ocean is fun, and it makes people happy which in turn makes them nicer people.


• sunsets over the pacific are incredible. the sun looks like a ball of fire sinking into the water. its particularly impressive when you can only see a strip of the fire through clouds that extend out as far as you can see except for a few centimeters above the water at the farthest point. picturesque.
• people seem to really like that old school ring tone that sounds like an old telephone.
• eighties music is the thing. but its not your typical eighties music - the stuff you still hear on the radio. its obscure songs that one rarely hears and had all but forgotten existed. and not only is this music played in most of the shops, real estate offices and restaurants but you'll also hear it blaring from cars.

moving day

this was quite possibly the easiest moving day ever.

we woke up at our usual time, 6:45am, showered and started packing our bags for the big move in.
took a cab to our new place by the ocean, and there we were. moved. living in san diego, california. easy.

of course, we rested a bit. sat around celebrating with smiles and inspecting each nook and cranny. we also put a few things in the appropriate locations. then we went to the co-op to become members and buy some food to fill our fridge and bellies.

we had a nice lunch, put things away, and headed to the beach for a late afternoon splash...

im pretty sure ive never seen db have so much fun.
we walked out into the water and just jumped waves for as long as we could stand it. afterward, we lay on our beach blanket (which also doubles as our picnic blanket) and headed home to order pizza for a celebratory dinner.

can i just say, we've seen some strange and interesting things here in san diego... a gang of 30yr old razor riders (those scooter-things that all the kids are riding); folks on the street asking if we want to buy weed (which we don't); avacados for 50 cents; a boston red sox mural on a closed Ocean Beach bar/grille; and a bunch of other things that neither of us can think of all of a sudden.

california here i come

so, here i am... sitting in the jetblue rotunda at JFK airport in NYC enjoying my free wireless internet connection and various tv programming. where am i off to today, you ask? why, sunny ol' San Diego of course.

"a mirror into my private life," db mutters as he gazes up into the picturesque daytime drama of General Hospital.

young and restless, thats what we were last week after returning from our most recent hiking trip. we've been somewhat at the mercy of other folks kindness for rides to and fro, and this has resulted in lots of sitting about with little to do except dream of hiking or california and what awaits us there.

we are equally ready to get our new lives started in San Diego. for me this means finding an apartment, doing some temp work, advertising my art, reiki and coaching in my new neighborhood, and relaxing on the beach. from what i understand, for db this means finding an apartment, getting a job working with kids (school, social work, etc), and reading 100 books over the next year.

so, on a whim a few days ago we decided to investigate flight prices again - something we haven't done in over a month since deciding to spend the summer hiking. prices weren't as good as they were in spring, yet they were sufficiently low for us to check into getting a ride to the airport. turned out, db's friend was headed up to Burlington, VT the morning of our flight to take a Mandarin language course. the synchronicity of these events led to this morning's early departure.

we knew it would be a long day. the first leg of our flight was scheduled to leave Burlington at 4:30pm and our ride would be dropping us off at the airport a good 9 hours early. we figured we could check in early and go flit around town for the day. apparently, this is not allowed. we could check in as early as noon, but no sooner...

unless... we wanted to fly stand-by on the 11:30am flight to JFK. we'd still have to wait for our original connecting flight to San Diego, but at least it would break up our day. since neither of us had been to JFK airport, we figured it would be an adventure. we could check the place out and really get to know it. thus we opted for the earlier flight.

please, do not mistakenly think that just because JFK is a cool airport name and in the cool city of NY that the place is any more comfortable, interesting or entertaining than any place else on the planet... it is most definitely not. in fact, its right up there with Chicago's Midway airport which i liken the atmosphere to the basement of my middle school gymnasium.

and that brings us back to the present moment.

we concur that soap operas are where americans learn to behave... dramatizing every little interaction to the point of making us nauseous.

Cliffhanger

In between hiking expeditions DB and I have been renting DVDs for mini-marathons of our new favorite TV series, Veronica Mars.

The plot twists and turns, turns and twists, then twists and turns some more. Although exhausted, we were wholey unable to resist our intrepid curiousity about "who dun it" and we stayed up till 1am to finish season one. Now that's a cliffhanger!

I have to admit I looked up the start of season two online (see above link) and was sorely disappointed to see how things pan out in season two... DB and I were ecstatic when two certain someones finally hooked up, but it looks like the show does the predictable thing in season two.

Will DB and I keep watching? Too early to tell. Plus, we have to wait for season two to come out on DVD before we can even begin.

Reiki for Red Sox

I started sending Reiki to Veritek and Beckett toward the end of the first inning of last night's game (things weren't going so well). Daniel agreed that it helped their game.

burning question number 42 - grapefruit

why on earth is grapefruit called grapefruit?

not only is it a hundred plus times larger than a grape, it isn't the same color, shape, or consistency. and it certainly tastes nothing like a grape or even grape flavor for that matter.

Purdue University's Crop Index says the grapefruit was originally called the "forbidden fruit" of Barbados. it was also called a smaller shaddock - although i have no clue what a shaddock is.

wikipedia and the library of congress lead me to believe the grapefruit came to be called such simply because it grows in clusters (much like grapes), and possibly because in its unripe state the grapefruit looks eerily similar to unripened grapes.

can it be so simple or is there a larger conspiracy at work here? for instance... why is the Library of Congress so interested in the mysteries of forbidden fruit???

conversations with DB

6:30pmish

ME: OMG! you know what is the best ever???
DB: what?!?
ME: waffles with banana slices... just plain waffles with slices of banana, no syrup
DB: mmm


7:00pmish

ME: my grandma makes homemade syrup
DB: wow, really?
ME: mhm, she puts sugar in a cup and microwaves it until it melts and puts maple flavor in it
DB: hmmm... is that how everyone makes it? by microwave?
ME: i dont know... i mean, im sure she used to do it by stove top, but now she's...
DB: high tech
ME: haha, yeah, high tech grandma
DB: high tech grandma's are the best!


9:00pmish

ME: OMG! look at this!
DB: haha, how cute
ME: this is the cutest cat EVER! i have to have it! i love it!


10:30pmish

DB: you know how you ask me "why?" everytime i say i'm not going to do something?
ME: mhm
ME: it pisses you off? hehe
DB: nope
ME: oh?
ME: suprising :)
DB: the answer is because i'm scared of failure, rejection and loss, and i've discovered that before, but i didn't remember it until i was looking for pasta


later

DB: love is nice and pretty and raps everything up in a nice little basket that you can give to people you don't like or you do like, and they'll take it like they take fruitcake

the crazy genius strikes again!

11/17/04 3:13 pm

so, i toted my "new" desk home from LOMs last night using the dolly i borrowed from work.

needless-to-say, i looked like a freak with my desk-on-wheels tied to the dolly with a beautiful and fluffy multi-colored scarf as i strolled down the busy streets of Boston.

i had 4 main goals on this journey. to make it to my destination without

1. the desk toppling over


2. being hit by oncoming traffic


3. throwing my back out


4. destroying the stairwell of my new residence (remember, no elevator)

id like to report that the trip was a success!

although it was a bit challenging to get the desk up the stairs at first. i was trying to continue using the dolly.

after all, i brought the thing 2 miles on the subway specifically for this job. so i wanted to make sure i got good use out of it.

at some point it became apparent that this was going to be hell.

i pulled the desk-loaded dolly up several stairs and found that there was no way to round the corner. there simply wasnt enough room.

after a few minutes of trying to wrap my brain around the idea that this wasnt working, it occurred to me that the problem was the dolly. the wheels were just big enough to make the contraption useless in my stairwell.

i would just have to find another way.

i untied the scarf, and manuevering the desk off of the dolly and onto its top, i slid it up the rest of the stairs.

hooray! it worked!!!

im a genius.

the trolly, the dolly and the broken elevator

somehow i always end up being the weird girl doing strange things in the city which people see and go home to tell their families about over dinner.

i borrowed a dolly (you know, a gadget for moving refrigerators and heavy boxes) from work today so i could move my "new" desk from LOMs over to my place.

imagine me, in the middle of the city dragging a big black dolly through the shopping center of our fine city.

i carried the fcker down the stairs into the subway, up and down the gigantic steps of the trolly itself. at my stop, i carried the dolly up out of the subway and wheeled the damn thing to LOMs.

i get inside the building and find the elevator busted. so, i had to tote the damn dolly up 5 flights of stairs!

there was no point in trying to navigate down 5 flights of stairs with a desk packed dolly. it would have been easier just to carry the desk.

so, i left the dolly at LOMs and went home to rest before returning for dinner.

LOM served mac and cheese for dinner. yum. actually, i think its the first time ive had mac and cheese in a few years. seriously.

LOM said the desk and dolly can stay until the elevator works again... which will likely be tomorrow or wednesday. i dont think the elevator has ever gone more than 24 hours without working.

so, perhaps tomorrow i shall have my "new" desk. i sooo look forward to carrying it up 3 flights of stairs into my new place, and then filling the drawers with pens and note pads and thumb tacks! yay!

another failed attempt at analogies

ME (10:33:25 PM): what else are you doing besides perfecting your haiku writing?

DB (10:34:01 PM): making fun of girls at bc, and how they're ugly

DB (10:34:07 PM): being really critical of people

DB (10:34:33 PM): but not to their face, because that's mean

ME (10:34:36 PM): sounds like you need to get in touch w/ your inner self

ME (10:34:38 PM): hehe

DB (10:34:49 PM): i don't mean ugly as in like looks ugly, even though i don't find them attractive anyway

ME (10:34:58 PM): ah

DB (10:35:38 PM): but my physical attraction meter really depends on how cool i think the person is

DB(10:35:50 PM): unless they're obviously a babe

ME (10:36:10 PM): lol

ME (10:36:12 PM): mhm

ME (10:36:28 PM): sometimes physical attractiveness overrides the rest

ME (10:36:33 PM): cant be helped

DB (10:36:40 PM): yep

ME (10:36:47 PM): its prob how peacocks end up mating

ME (10:36:54 PM): um... nevermind

DB(10:36:55 PM): jeezum

a red sox moment

a red sox moment is when you're ahead and then all of a sudden you're way behind, but then you fight to the death and win.

-Amy L. Burns

top 5s as requested by db

movies
1. amelie

2. titus

3. y tu mama tambien

4. fire

5. garden state


animals
1. cats (i have one that lives w/ my ex-gf)

2. betta fish (i have one named King Gough)

3. mice or rats (i used to have these as pets)

4. unicorns (they are too real)

5. snakes and reptiles


pasta dishes
1. spaghetti marinara (no meat, just spaghetti noodles or angelhair and sauce)

2. linguini in clam sauce

3. fetichini alfredo

4. pasta primavera

5. anything with garlic or angelhair

national coming out day

omg, 9 years ago today i came out to my entire family, via personally created "National Coming Out Day" announcements. just like graduation announcements, only a completely different announcement.

i remember choosing to drop them into a blue mail box, you know, the kind that once you let go there is no way in hell you are getting your letter back from the box? i wanted to make sure i couldnt change my mind. it worked.

if i had it to do over again... id register for gifts and include that info in the announcement.

im gay! buy me shit!

drowning in books

moving is hell when you live in the city and are moving via folding shopping cart and mostly own books... hundreds and hundreds of books. books you never read and that just accumulate dust and take up space.

you should know that i actually owned a lot of these books before i ever came here. i shipped these fckrs across the country so i could have them here, and presumably read them. yeah, right. you should also know that i bought a lot of these books while working at Barnes and Noble (never let a book addict work at a book store), a heafty bit of them from Amazon.com, and a chunk of them from Brookline Booksmith or Trident.

anyway, now that ive moved most of my books, im sorting through them, making piles. ive got all kinds of piles. in fact, i have more than a dozen piles, and i dont even have all of my books here yet. there are hundreds more at my old place just waiting for me to rescue them from a life of dust and darkness.

pile 1: gay books. non-fiction. most have been browsed but several have not been read. why? b/c ever time i try to read one i get deathly bored. i already know what its like to be gay and i really dont give a shit if jesus was screwing mary magdalen or one of his disciples. his body, his life, his business, not mine. and im already out, im not ashamed of who i am, and frankly the people who write "our history" do so with all the furvor and passion of a high school history book. its dry and boring. wow... i didnt realize i felt this way. good thing im exploring it, here with you, now.

piles 2, 3, 4 & 5: feminist books. non-fiction. several used in various womens studies courses 7+ years ago. some purchased with the intention of reading. some browsed, fingered, or at least glanced at. same deal as the gay books... i just get bored reading this stuff... mostly b/c im already so familiar with the ideas and information presented that i can hardly stand to swallow one more sentence. so why keep them??? well, what if i need them? what if someone asks me something and i need to research this question and need one of my books??? um, hello?!!? that is easily the stupidest reason ever. first of all, when was the last time someone asked me something about feminism or womens history or wages in the early 20th century? no one will ask me anything i cant just answer myself or find online.

piles 6,7 & 8: books on/about/by americans of various racial and ethnic backgrounds. non-fiction. some used in courses 7 years ago, but many purchased with the intention of keeping up on racial/ethnic/class theory and authors. yes, for some reason i feel like having a degree in this field means im required to keep up on who/what/when/where/how/why. again, its not happening. so, why keep buying these books? why not let go? two things... (1) i like to have awesome books like this in case someone wants to borrow them. but im not a library and we have a big one around the corner! (2) i just cant seem to let to of a book until ive read it. it seems more of a waste if i bought it and never read it than if i at least read it or skim it carefully first. thats the plan.

pile 9: sociology. obviously non-fiction. obviously i thought i would read these. i havent. see above for explanations.

pile 10: regarding teaching, social change, inequality, prison, teenagers and the like. non-fiction. did i ever tell you i was going to be a teacher? i was. in fact, besides being a nurse, astronaught, rock star, actress, nun, accountant and fashion designer, i was planning to be a math teacher. why? need you ask? clearly, if kids just had a "good" math teacher, someone who loved math as much as i do, and who could just show them how amazing and interesting math is, they'd love math too. well, in college, i found out you had to take calculus to be a math teacher. screw that. its not that i couldnt do calculus. i simply had (and still have) no interest whatsoever in learning it. im sure its quite fascinating and perplexing and amazing. but, i dont care. so, i decided i would be an english teacher instead. then i discovered womens studies and racial/ethnic studies and put the teaching thing on the back burner. later i decided to finally go to graduate school to get a masters in teaching... to teach... history. it wasnt exactly that simplistic. the idea was actually that knowledge is power and that access to good and accurate information and learning to think critical is the essence of social change and empowerment. that was my personal experience anyway. and i wanted to teach in prisons. women's prisons, juvinile detention centers, and even men's prisons. i believe many people who become involved in crime are acting out of a feeling of helplessness, anger at society, and self-hatred. if those folks can find a sense of power within and can put words to the oppression they feel, they can choose to redirect their feelings toward positive actions and social change. i still believe this, but i also believe that there is another way i can be this teacher without being at the front of a classroom talking about George Washington or Ronald Reagan. hence becoming a life coach.

piles 11, 12, 13 & 14: psychology and self-discovery books. i love this stuff. but sometimes it gets boring when people just keep saying what has already been said before. plus, i can use this stuff in my coaching. and i use it in my daily life. in fact, im using it to help me let go of books i dont need/use/want... learning to let go is important.

pile 15: books for my sister. this is a conservative pile since i know she's only in the 8th grade. here we have such classics as: Becoming American, Becoming Ethnic (about american identity, race, ethnicity, immigration); Race Class & Gender (historical and contemporary essays, poems, history, etc. with some quality Q&A after each piece); Animal Rights and Human Morality; Debating Sexual Correctness (different perspecitives on womens issues); and Real Gorgeous (funny and practical book about women and beauty).

pile 16: books for KDK. i havent told her i have a pile of books for her. its a small pile. she may not want them. but i thought to myself "self, maybe KDK would find these useful... or not."

pile 17: books for release as part of my profile at BookCrossing.com. i plan to release them at various local cafe's. and as i read the books in my various piles, i will add them to this list and release them too. it seems like a brilliant way to make information available to people and clear out the clutter ive managed to accumulate over the years. let go, let go, let go.

note: fiction is already put away on my book case. they are alphabetized by author and currently only occupy two good sized shelves. there is an additional shelf, however, which holds childrens books, and books on myths, goddesses, legends, etc.

adopted writers unite

as a child i often contemplated how it was i came to be adopted by my wholly irresponsible and disfunctional parents.

it boggled my mind how a 17 year old dropout and 23 year old pothead turned cokehead would be allowed by the state to adopt a perfectly healthy and adorable baby such as myself.

what insane bible-thumping Christians made it necessary for my biological parents to decide that my adoptive parents were acceptable enough. and who on earth would go through so much trouble to fabricate a birth certificate that indicated the biological connection between me and these completely unqualified people?

no, it just didnt make sense. clearly, i was abducted from my real family or found in a basket on the doorstep of my adoptive mother one day. i was far to smart to belong to these irresponsible children, and they were far too irresponsible and dysfunctional to have been allowed to adopt me.

it turns out im not the only one with such childhood ponderings. Augusten Buroughs and David Sedaris are two excellent examples of writers with perfectly bizzarre and abusive upbringings who were also absolutely convinced, as children, they must be adopted or have been kidnapped.

do all children of dysfunctional families find themselves wondering if they were adopted? are such pondersings limited to us, or do children of functional families ponder such things as well?

belief-o-matic

Even if YOU don't know what faith you are, Belief-O-Matic™ knows. Answer 20 questions about your concept of God, the afterlife, human nature, and more, and Belief-O-Matic™ will tell you what religion (if any) you practice...or ought to consider practicing.

1. Neo-Pagan (100%)
2. Unitarian Universalism (97%)
3. New Age (92%)
4. Liberal Quakers (88%)
5. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (86%)
6. Theravada Buddhism (85%)
7. Mahayana Buddhism (84%)
8. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (79%)
9. New Thought (76%)
10. Taoism (72%)
11. Secular Humanism (70%)
12. Scientology (67%)
13. Hinduism (65%)
14. Bahá'í Faith (60%)
15. Jainism (53%)
16. Orthodox Quaker (52%)
17. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (50%)
18. Reform Judaism (49%)
19. Sikhism (48%)
20. Nontheist (41%)
21. Jehovah's Witness (36%)
22. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (35%)
23. Seventh Day Adventist (26%)
24. Orthodox Judaism (22%)
25. Eastern Orthodox (15%)
26. Islam (15%)
27. Roman Catholic (15%)

barefoot in the city

i wore the cutest outfit today.

pink skirt, white tank, white button down shirt, white pumps, (white panties too, in case you were wondering).

on my way out to lunch my boss asks... "why're you wearing such fancy shoes?"

note: the female Bostonian transplant from Washington state is not usually a fancy shoe wearing beast. she is usually spotted wearing sneakers or boots. and in the office setting she is often seen wearing black FUBU socks. :end note

my reply: "um... they go with my skirt."

she laughs, we head out the door at the same time.

as we're walking up Franklin to Washington, i am abruptly stopped in my tracks... literally.

see, the thing about the sidewalks in Boston are that they are hollow. this means that its just air and wires and junk underneath. and sometimes, this means there are grated vents where one would expect concrete. and as you likely surmised, grated vents have holes in them. holes that just happen to be the perfect size for the heel of a more feminine shoe... such as a white pump.

as passers-by are passing by, im quickly thinking through my escape options.

fortunately ive seen enough of these incidents by now that ive determined the most effective way to break free is, in fact, to remove the foot from the stuck shoe and pull the shoe out of the hole via hand.

its really quite brilliant.

because if you leave your foot in the shoe, you end up struggling to pull it out with your foot and it never budges. simply by removing your foot and using your hand, the shoe is removed with ease and grace.

now, as i remove my first shoe and place it on solid ground up ahead, i foolishly step down, onto the same grate, with my other shoed foot.

yes, its true... i did.

now im barefoot in the city. and im the girl who wore white pumps after labor day and walked on grates downtown during lunch. the girl that will be laughed at in journals all over the world by everyone who saw and everyone who reads said journals.

oh the horror!

um... i'll be back later, i need to buy new shoes.

star gazing

on my way to bed last night i remembered mom saying there was a meteor shower to be seen.

i grabbed mom after she came out of the shower and we went outside to see what we could see.

right away we saw a brilliant streak of light cross the sky. it was brighter than even the brightest star!

we stood around in the front yard with our heads back, waiting to see another streak, and joking about what the neighbors would think.

i saw a couple that mom missed and she saw one or two that i missed. our necks were getting tired.

my cousin AI parks her car in mom's front yard... so we decided she wouldnt mind if we just propped ourselves against her hood.

there we were, me and mom, leaning back on the hood of a car and watching the stars in our jammies.

we imagined:

my little brother waking and wandering outside to find us there... the indignation in his voice when he asks "what are you guys doing?" and then exclaiming "you are weird!"

the police stopping to see why two grown people were lying across the hood of a car in the middle of the night. my mom would say "officer, could you help us up?"

AI coming out to her car in the morning to find us still there, unable to get up when we finished star gazing. "what the hell are you doing on my car?" again, mom says "honey, could you help us up?"

our hair and clothes picking up the dirt from AIs car... not knowing how long its been since she washed it.

even better... the clean spots on AIs hood from our noggins and shoulders resulting in "the mystery of the crop circle like spots" on AIs car.

we saw a couple more "shooting stars" and decided to call it a night.

my friend's sister, britney

mom worked today and my bro and sis were at camp. i spent most of the day alone doing whatever.

i worked on my moms pc a little more and removed a bunch of junk and porn links. but there is an annoying "blank" page that keeps resetting itself as the home page on ie5 and it just has a bunch of links to porn. i searched and searched through all kinds of files and cant find the little fckr. its making me crazy. i know its some sort of virus that put it there. the only way to get rid of it is to wipe the hard drive. so, thats a possibility.

i also went over to visit my aunt pam but she was, uh... napping. it was acutally a bit creepy and comical. i walked in the door and sat on the couch. here's the conversation:

Aunty: eyes opening slightly in a roll.

Me: "you napping?"

Aunty: "no," takes a bite of the hamburger on her plate. eyes roll shut. a few minutes later they roll partially open.

Me: "why dont you nap in bed?"

Aunty: "we gotta go."

Me: "we do?"

Aunty: still half asleep, "yeah, ain't we going somewheres?"

Me: "i don't know."

Aunty: "where 're yer kids?"

Me: "well, i don't have any kids, but my sister and brother are at camp?"

Aunty: (refering to her own kids now) "did Ashley take the kids with her?"

Me: "i don't know, i just got here... are you dreaming conversations with me?"

Aunty: eyes roll back into her head and close.

basically, she was dreaming some kind of conversation between us and only some of it was making it out - clearly the part that made no sense.

i decided the likelihood of her waking up was on par with saddam actually having weapons of mass destruction. so, i left.

outside, my uncle and their kids were coming out of their RV. here's the convo btwn me and TI, the seven year old girl.

TI: looks at me, "who are you?"

Me: perplexed since she usually remembers me. "I'm Amy. Remember me?"

TI: "did your mom pick you up?"

Me: is she having the same dream as my aunt? "well, i guess... she picked me up at the bus stop" (where my shuttle came in).

TI: remembering that i used to stay with them when i worked two jobs 60 miles apart and would nap between them, "are you staying the night with us?"

Me: "no, im staying at my mom's."

TI: "dad," she comes over and takes my hand, "can i go with her?"

Me: am i going somewhere? "im not doing anything interesting."

TI: leading me home, "my dad likes me best because i sing real good."

Me: "really? i think he likes both of you."

TI: "but what he likes most about me is i sing. i make up my own songs, too."

Me: "you do?"

TI: "yeah, want to hear me sing?"

Me: eternally perplexed at how I ended up in a trailer with two small children that weren't mine (KI - 5 years old had followed). "sure."

TI: begins improvising a song... something about the 2 million people in the universe, going up to heaven which is beautiful, going up and down, someone is happy because they have 20 friends and some people dont even have one, more up and down, and then ending on a high note about god. when she finishes she looks at me.

Me: wondering what im supposed to say, i come up with "wow, that was really good."

TI: "i made it up just now. i have a good voice."

Me: again, what the hell am i supposed to say? "wow, you do, that was nice."

TI: "britney read a story and then made it into a song. thats how she made hers."

Me: knowing there were only two britneys she could be refering to (a friend i didnt know, or the pop singer) and hoping it was the first, "it is? is britney your friend from school?"

TI: "no, britney spears. she is my friends sister."

Me: scanning my memory for the last place i heard the spears family lived... hmmm... nope, not marysville washington. "she is?"

TI: "yeah, she said christina aguilera is her sister, too."

Me: realizing now what this was and that it was none of my business to interfere, "oh."

TI: "what is britney spears last name?"

Me: "spears."

TI: "it is?" silence. "my friend's last name is spears. wait, she can't be sisters with christina aguilera. she lied."

Me: awareness needs no help. "hmmm."

TI: "do you think britney is really her sister? they have the same last name. if you have the same last name does that mean you are related?"

Me: "lots of people have the same last name and they aren't related. there are a lot of people all over the country whose last name is Smith. not all of them are related."

TI: a lightbulb goes off, "there was a girl in my class whose last name was smith. [xyz] smith. and..." she gives the full names of several different classmates - none of which are smiths.

we transition between a variety of topics. i am a prisoner of TI and her quick moving thoughts. fortunately, i find it rather interesting and im willing to go along. she told me the process of pin/button-making, how she tries to be a role model for her little brother by behaving appropriately, that she will be going to S&D house for the weekend, how my brother is mean, the rules about knocking before coming into my moms house, whether i was here when TIs parents were setting up the pool (do they have a pool?), the special store they go to for toys (aka the Goodwill), where they burried Boz (the dog my aunt had for 15+ years), and her favorite rainforest animal - the sloth (her favorite because it climbs trees as slow as a snail).

just after 4pm my mom arrives and sends the children home. she made it seem so easy. shortly after, my brother and sister arrive from day camp. by brother stays but my sister leaves with her dad, hoping her church still has room for her tomorrow on the camping trip.

we water the garden, munch on the fresh green beans and pea pods that are ready to pick, and then my mom hops in the shower.

i walk out onto the porch and see my uncle meandering over with his kids. he shows me two apples, "i come bearing gifts." he picked them from his fruit trees. he has a seat on the porch and we chat about fruit trees and watch the kids play and argue and ask silly questions. his older son (age 34) rides up on a bicycle, looking like a shabby bike messenger. we exchange greetings and pleasantries. here we all are. sitting on the porch bs-ing. its nice. i miss this.

everyone leaves and my mom emerges. its 7pm and my brother wants to go to the skate park. mom has had a couple drinks, so i drive. we drop him off, go home to eat a little dinner, and talk politics on the porch.

i told my mom everything i knew about the election, 9/11, the war, and michael moore's evidence about GWs financial relationships and motivations for everything. her question was "why didnt the media tell us these things?" exactly. we talked about the media being owned by the same people who profit from GWs decisions, so they wont allow certain information to be aired, and how people dont listen to independent news sources because they are labeled "liberally biased" even though they arent. she was appropriately disgusted. but she had already been disgusted by all of it before i said anything. now, she just knew more about what was going on.

the rest of the night: picked up my brother at the sk8 park, snacked and went to bed.

under pressure

believe it or not, i have learned an incredible amount just by slicing open my thumb. i think it might be healed already.

the first thing i did upon feeling the shooting pain in my thumb that indicated i had butchered it with a nice sharp broken piece of metal was sigh "shit" in a defeated tone.

next i briefly looked at it to assess the damage. seeing that it was an angled slice, yet deep enough that it didnt kill like a papercut, i grabbed a cotton ball and opted to apply pressure in the hopes of avoiding the throbbing pain i knew would come.

fortunately i had already dressed for the day, but that didnt stop me from wondering how exactly i could make it through life without my left thumb.

i continued to apply pressure, harder and harder until the pain of the pressure was greater than the pain of the cut. fortunately my next stop was the condo where i knew i could find neosporin and bandages.

at the condo, i dressed my wound appropriately and went about my afternoon. i redressed an hour or two later. and then redressed again a few more hours later. at bed time, i undressed the wound so it could have some fresh air.

when i woke this morning, to my surprise, the cut has nearly healed. its like the skin just repaired itself... its a bit wild. im convinced it was the pressure.

the zen of amy

the closer you are to the ground, the louder sounds are in your ear... especially when you are sleeping.

when the water is gone, you must become the water.

locks on the window that allow the window to open half way will only prevent gigantic thieves.

two pizzas in the hand are worth many meals in the bush.

the organ music stops by 11pm.

and girls, they wanna have fun.

international gnome day

Whoa! slow down horsey!

just two and three days ago i was Ms. Depression 2004. boy did that end quickly and thank Goddess!

today, you can call me Ms. Exclaimation Point 2004! its a magnificent day today for a million reasons!

1. i have an online journal and i love it!

2. its summer solstice! a magical day where the glass is both half empty and half full and that makes it perfect :)

3. its my co-workers birthday and that means we get cake! is there anything better than cake?

4. i walked to work today and no one said anything to me or my boobs about my boobs! YAY!

5. the flowers in the Public Garden are painfully beautiful - i love them with all my heart!

6. faeries are pretty and glittery and i love them :)

7. i am the Universe, supporting and nurturing you without limitations, radiating acceptance and love while raining warmth and nourishment for you to grow, blossom and seed, becoming your own solar system :)

8. im celebrating my Moon! yay Moon!

9. i ate one bananna waffle and 2 cookies for breakfast - yummers!

10. ive been eating plums and strawberries all morning long :)

11. King Gough is alive and swishing, and his constipation seems to have subsided a bit!

12. the sun has been shining all day and its a comfortable temperature - hooray!

13. i love the number thirteen! YAY!

14. its international gnome day! have you hugged your gnome today?

Two on the McCourt

apparently there are at least 2 well known Frank McCourts.

one is the author of Angela's Ashes and the other is an owner of the LA Dodgers.

LOM had never heard of the author. i had only known of the author and thought it was pretty cool that he and his family were at the Red Sox v. Dodgers game at Fenway tonight. authors can be so cool.

at some point LOM began to realize the announcers were refering to him as a Dodgers owner. naturally, i wondered if maybe they were talking about someone else and it just sounded like they were talking about Frank McCourt.

i decided to prove that there clearly was some confusion. either Frank McCourt was an author, a Dodgers owner, or both.

a quick google revealed that there are, in fact, two Frank McCourts. one of which is the author and the other of which a Dodgers owner. who knew?

canvas captive

walking to walgreens, i saw two young hip looking women with clipboards... i immediately began looking for an escape. but it was boylston and i was so close to my destination... there was no escape.

the first one stopped someone else... phew! almost there, just 10 more feet, i can make it if...

the cute one with the hat spoke "do you have a minute to help push GW out of the white house?" it was a tough question, one of those trick ones that you can't say "no" to otherwise you're essentially saying "i torture little puppies and kitties."

quickly, only pausing for a slight second so that she could hear me, i replied "i already vote, uh and stuff." alas, she was well trained and held my eyes... "im helping to raise money for the democratic party to get rid of Bush." my perfect out - "im sorry, i dont have any money today."

this did not dissuade her. she continued looking directly into my eyes as she told me about the master plan... the democrats would use this money in states such as Florida to recruit people to vote, register more democratic voters, and transport voters to the polls.

i nodded politely... thinking of how i could appease her without outright lying. i could tell her that i know people with money and would tell them about this, but it was too late. i was already standing there, captive of this canvaser. i continued to nod as she told me more and more.

"do you have anything i can take with me?" she looked at her clipboard, under it, and looked back at me. "i dont", she said. "but i can give you the URL... it's democrats.org. do you want me to write it down for you?"

"democrats.org... i can remember that." she smiled and said thank you as i turned to make my way into walgreens. i smiled and for some reason thanked her back.