where art thou

jude law was my boyfriend. apparently, we met recently and had been hanging out non-stop for a few days - at least that's what the fluttery feelings all through my body were telling me.

we sat on the couch, talking while looking dreamily into each others' eyes. you know those late into the night get-to-know-you-better talks you have when you meet someone new that you really really like.

and inevitably these talks lead to discussions of ex's. jude says, "before you, there was david, and before david, it was james, and...". in my head i'm thinking, "david, james...he's coming out to me! i can tell him about my exgirlfriends!"

at some point we part, making plans to get together later.

later, im on my computer - one that looks suspiciously like an arcade game, and i'm emailing friends asking if anyone has jude's email or phone number, as it seems i don't have them. jude has disappeared. it's not that he's actually missing. it's that he isn't contacting me and i don't know how to reach him.

that feeling of being dumped drenches me, pushing me into a heavy sadness.