so far so good

had my intake appointment at the Karen Horney Clinic... the place is comfortable and attractive, accessible by my nearest train, and i get the feeling that the therapists are competent. i'm quite hopeful and even a bit excited to start therapy there. i kinda wish i had found this place first.

in other news, i've actually been feeling really good lately. perhaps ive mentioned this. i totally attribute it to taking vitamin D. MisterB (my sweetie, who is a 2nd yr MSW student) says that in one more week i will no longer meet the criteria for Dysthymia! that is pretty freakin' exciting! i think it's been near 5 years since i last did not meet the criteria, so this is a bit of a milestone.

i actually feel very spiritually connected, too... something i haven't felt strongly for a couple years. Mister B and i were discussing Maslow's hierarchy of needs and how this relates to spiritual connection. if our other basic needs aren't met (food/shelter/love/safety/health) we can have difficulty experiencing spiritual connection. once our basic needs are met, our minds are more open to experiencing that connection. MisterB explains this much better than i just did... but you get the idea.

i've found that when i'm feeling very unwell (not just having a cold, but long-term unwellness due to my connective tissue disease) i can't buy into the spiritual beliefs/teachings that i am easily able to connect with when i feel well. for example, when i feel well i absolutely know that the universe is conspiring to shower me with gifts and joy and goodness. when i feel unwell i feel apathetic about this idea or like it's B.S. when i feel unwell, im unable to meditate or really get into spiritual books that, when im well, i typically enjoy.

right now, im enjoying being able to connect to my spiritual self. i feel positive, joyful, and hopeful... even though i still feel somewhat physically unwell.

the only thing that has changed in the last few months is the vitamin D. although i suppose i have eaten an extraordinary amount of cheesecake lately, lol. still, im betting it's the vitamin D and not the cheesecake that is making all the difference :)