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Amy L. Burns, CLCFilled with interesting and inspiring |
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Wednesday, December 24, 2008Start Where You AreI was listening to Sonia Choquette's radio show on Hay House Radio and was very struck by some advice she offered a caller who thought she was following her path but felt she wasn't masterful enough to continue.Sonia's advice boiled down to the following: Stop trying to become a Master - it's too big, too overwhelming to take on. Instead, focus on becoming a student and teacher - you can do both right now. What struck me about this was how simple it is. It's so relevant to so many of us, and when I hear it put this way it's so obvious. I've noticed one of the things that often gets in a client's way of moving forward with their dreams and goals is feeling like they are not masterful enough in whatever endeavor they have undertaken or wish to undertake. This manifests in so many parts of their lives. * I'm afraid to sign up for that talent show because my singing isn't perfect. * How can I enter my painting into that competition when I'm not even a real artist yet? * I can't be a spiritual teacher when I haven't attained enlightenment. Somehow we have learned that in order for our work to be meaningful or of value we must already be masters or experts - we must already be at a level of "100 percent" of knowledge and skill and talent. This way of thinking leaves us with absolutely no place or reason to begin because it is virtually unattainable! As yourself [_fill in the blank_]: Is my goal to become a master of ___? If so, there is more to learn - keep going - it's a journey not a destination! And take time to define for yourself what it means to be a ___ master. What does it look like? What does it feel like? What does it sound like? How will you know when you've arrived? If your goal is other than becoming a master of ___, why let the reality of not (yet!) being a master of ___ get in the way of achieving your true goal or dream? What is your true goal or dream? What is at the heart of what you are doing? My personal goal is to help people create more satisfiying lives by accessing their spiritual truth and making choices in alignment with that truth. Nothing in there requires me to already have attained enlightenment, does it? No. I have plenty of valuable gifts, tools, techniques to share already - just as I am right now. And as I continue on my sacred journey of learning and teaching, I'm constantly adding more to that tool box. The truth is that no one is ever born a master. No one is ever born the best singer or artist on earth. No one is born a senator or president. No one is born a CEO, a mother or father, or an Iron Chef. No one is born with all the skills and techniques they need to be anything other than a student of life. And that is just how it should be - starting out life with all the potential of the world. Where you are right now is the perfect place from which to move forward in achieving your goals and dreams. You are already masterful enough for what you need to Be and Do in this moment. You've got everything you need and you'll learn the rest along the way. # posted by Amy L. Burns @ 12:39 PM 0 comments  
Tuesday, November 11, 2008A Love LetterHandwrite yourself a love letter. A love letter to you, from you.Sign it. Seal it in an envelope addressed to yourself, and put a stamp on it. Give it to someone you trust and ask them to mail it to you in one month. Forget about it... for now. # posted by Amy L. Burns @ 8:52 AM 0 comments
Thursday, August 16, 2007Managing Our To Do ListsOften we can become overwhelmed with the amount of things we think we need to accomplish in a day, a week, or a lifetime. Small tasks or big goals and dreams can take over our lives resulting in never ending To Do Lists. While there are many ways to go about completing these tasks, and systems to organize them for more efficiency and productivity, I’d like to offer you something better – a new way of perceiving and experiencing your To Do List.What I’ve noticed is that often there are things on our To Do List that don’t really belong to us, aren’t our responsibility, or aren’t even in the realm of our own control. These things are “shoulds” we’ve adopted from our parents, teachers, friends, religious / spiritual groups, society, and even things we’ve decided we “should” do/be/have/want for one reason or another. They are responsibilities that we take on which don’t belong to us – perhaps they are responsibilities belonging to another person (family member, housemate, friend, employee, etc.) or organization (government, activist group, etc.). Regardless of the source, these things are often out of our own control and we use a lot of our energy trying to control them in various ways – none of which create the result we desire, or lend themselves to a life of ease and joy. When something is out of my own control, I say it belongs to the Universe. It is the Universe’s responsibility or role to make it happen or to make sure it happens, not mine. Some people call this surrendering to God or Source. Part of what allows the Universe to create what we want is when we are very clear about what we want, and we commit to being/having it (this requires belief and trust that it is already ours). When we commit to an result (usually experience or specific goal), and this result is in alignment with our highest good, our true selves, and/or our right path, the Universe moves to make those things become reality. We don’t have to worry about the how, that’s the Universe’s role. Our role is simply to know what we want, commit to it, trust and believe it is ours now, and act only on guidance. One way to gain clarity about how much of the stuff on our To Do List actually belongs to us, and what belongs to the Universe is through the following process. THE PROCESS Separate a sheet of paper into three columns by drawing two lines from top to bottom. In the middle column, write your To Do List – all the things you can do today to create what you want for yourself. In the far left column, write the Universe’s To Do List – all the things you can’t control that you would like the Universe to take care of for you. Leave the far right column blank for now. As you consider the things on your To Do List, also consider the following questions: * How does this fit within the larger vision of what I want? * What is my role? * What are my responsibilities? * What belongs to me and what belongs to the Universe/Source/God? * Is there anything on my list that isn’t mine? * If so, can I release it or give it to the Universe to take care of? * What parts do I want to be responsible for? What part do I love to do? * What parts would I love to allow the Universe to be responsible for? Now, feel free to shift anything from your To Do List over to the Universe's To Do List. The far right column is your To Be List. Write what/who you want to be as you consider each item on your To Do List. You can use the following questions to guide you. * What qualities do I want to embody as I complete this task? * Who/what do I want to Be as I complete this task? * Who/what do I need to Be in order to do this task? The most important part here is not only to Be who/what you want to be while doing your tasks, but also celebrate each item you check off your list. Celebrate when the Universe accomplishes something for you, too. VARIATIONS You can create any number of variations to this process to make it work for you – there is no wrong way to do it – all ways are right. You can focus on To Do Lists for categories, using one sheet to include some or all of the categories below, or using a separate sheet for each category – whichever works best for you. Feel free to create your own categories and category “definitions.” Finances - Your relationship with (giving & receiving) money, abundance Physical Well-Being - Your body, health, sense of physical safety Primary Relationship - Your being/not being in a primary relationship Relationships - Satisfaction with family, friends, associates Personal Development - Your process of growth and self-discovery Physical Surroundings - Where you spend time - home, office, car Rest & Relaxation - Time for regeneration, enjoyment, leisure Profession - Giving and expressing your unique gifts and talents I keep a 2.5 x 4.5 inch notepad with me most of the time. The first page is the Universe’s To Do List. Page two is usually my long-term To Do List, which I update monthly or quarterly depending on how messy it gets. Page three is usually my list for this week / today. I tend to use part of my To Do List page as my To Be List, or write who/what I want/need to Be next to each item. # posted by Amy L. Burns @ 8:53 AM 0 comments
Friday, March 09, 2007PermissionThis month’s theme Tele-Gathering theme was “permission,” and our inquiry was “What does it mean to give yourself permission?” Although many ideas came up, such as acceptance, allowing, acknowledgement, and validating, it was agreed that giving oneself permission really boils down to a feeling or a “sense.”Of course, the question that arose from this is “What does it feel like to give yourself permission?” Physically, I feel a sense of relief, release, and relaxation. My back relaxes, releasing all tension. Pain dissolves. I begin to experience enjoyable sensations in my hips, feet, shoulders. Mentally, the racing of my mind slows, and even stills. I feel a sensation of calm any worrying and anxiety just slip away – I have a deep knowing that I am safe. Emotionally, I get a bit giddy! I feel lighter, joyful, and filled with gratitude. YAY! Spiritually, I feel a deep sense of peace and connection. So, I ask you to take a few minutes to journal, blog or email a friend answering these questions for yourself: What does it mean to give myself permission? What does it feel like to myself permission? What do I give myself permission to Be/Do/Have today? Labels: Exercises # posted by Amy L. Burns @ 6:38 PM 0 comments
Thursday, February 01, 2007What is Love?In honor of February, Saint Valentine, Aphrodite, and Cupid the theme for our February Tele-Gathering is Love!Inquiry: What is love? What makes you feel loved? In what ways does the Universe remind that you are loved? In what ways do you show yourself that you are loved? My responses to the inquiry:
Labels: Exercises # posted by Amy L. Burns @ 9:04 AM 0 comments
Wednesday, January 03, 2007Three Valuable ToolsCord Cutting:Close your eyes and pass (or imagine passing) your hand in front and back of you, and over your head while saying (aloud or internally) “I now cut all cords in all directions of space and time”. Feel free to alter or add anything into that statement that makes it more powerful for you. A variation: ask Archangel Michael to assist you in cutting cords. Visualize his sword slicing through the cords in tandem with your hand. When you cut the cords, know that it is working. Feel it working. Calling Back Energy: After cutting cords, take a moment to call back all of your own energy that may have gotten away or been left elsewhere. Sometimes our own energy gets stuck with/on other people (we can have cords hooked into others, too!). Simply close your eyes, place (or imagine) your hands over your heart and imagine all your energy flowing back to you. Say (aloud or silently) “I now call back all of my energy. I am now whole and complete.” Feel your energy returning to you. Shielding: After you’ve got all your energy back, take a quick moment to shield yourself. Use imagery that works best for you. I have two ways I like to shield myself. Imagine Archangel Michael swirling a beautiful white ribbon of light around me, so that I am completely surrounded by a beautiful sparkling white glow of light. While Archangel Michael is doing this, say (aloud or silently), “Thank you, Archangel Michael for shielding me with beautiful light and love. I am safe.” Feel the shield surrounding you. Know that no energy other than pure love can pass through this shield. You can also use different colors of ribbon (pink for love, green for health, blue for calm), and/or add layers of light (1000 layers of white plus 2 layers of pink). Remember the scene from Disney’s cartoon-movie Cinderella where Cinderella is receiving her gown from her fairy godmother? Or if you’ve seen (or read) The Mists of Avalon, when the Lady of the Lake raises or lowers the mists? Imagine you are Cinderella or the Lady of the Lake. Using your hands, swirl them up and around you, imagining enveloping yourself in beautiful sparkling white light or mist. Say (aloud or silently) “I am protected and safe. Only love and light can enter this space.” Feel the shield surrounding you. Know that you are completely protected. You can cut cords, call back energy or shield in any order, with eyes open or closed, and with or without using words. It’s not even important if you believe it’s working – it will! Labels: Exercises # posted by Amy L. Burns @ 12:43 PM 0 comments
Friday, November 17, 2006abundance and gratitudeThanksgiving could not come at a better time. Really. As the leaves are turning, the air becomes crisp and cool, the days shorter and darker. We are reminded of life's brevity - our short time to play upon the earth. What more perfect time to pause and give thanks - express gratitude - for all our richness of life in all the forms that abundance takes for us.It is easy not to notice all the abundance that surrounds us. Easier so to miss the abundance if we are mired in stress and anxiety, when our focus becomes what we don't have or don't want. And Thanksgiving does little to ease that stress! All the plan-making, preparation, and pleasing that must be done. Not to mention the travel and cleaning up and immediacy of the holidays to come! How do you care for yourself during this time of holiday madness? What do you do that is just for you and that eases your stress and burdens? How do you keep in touch with your sense of peace and centeredness? How do you find time and space for gratitude? For me, abundance appears in so many forms - the sunrise, a cup of tea, the sand pushing up between my toes, having mostly working knees, being able to create works of art that leave me awed. Abundance comes in expected and unexpected gifts and opportunities, in the forms of money, time, food, companionship. And there are ways abundance finds me that I can not have imagined would ever come to exist. When I make time for myself, and truly give myself the gift of self-care, I can immerse myself in the truth of my own peace, calm and love. And in that open space of peacefulness and calm, I more fully enjoy the abundance I receive and more easily recognize the opportunities surrounding me. I am more able to respond with light and love. I am more able to receive. It's quite a remarkable cycle! For me, abundance truly is a space of gratitude - enjoying all that comes to me from an open space of receiving. What does abundance mean to you? What is your definition of abundance? In what forms do you manifest abundance? For what do you wish to express your gratitude? Labels: Exercises # posted by Amy L. Burns @ 12:26 PM 0 comments
Thursday, August 10, 2006Conscious Connection with SpiritWhat is Spirit for you?For me, Spirit is synonymous with Universe, Source, Divine Light, Inner Guidance, and my Higher Self. I often use the terms interchangeably. Yet there are hundreds of additional words people use to speak of Spirit. I have clients who prefer to use the terms Great Mother, Great Father, Mother Earth, God, Goddess, the Divine, Creator, and even Prime Mover. What does being "consciously connected with Spirit" mean for you? Most simply put, for me, connecting with Spirit means consciously being and doing things that create inner peace, and provide a sense of connection with Spirit and my own higher self. This includes being true to myself, listening to and following my inner guide, being fully awake and present, and being in alignment with my highest self. It also means really experiencing a oneness with all of life, with the Universe, and experiencing myself as a completely connected part of the whole. How often are you consciously connected with Spirit? I estimate that I am consciously connected with Spirit at least 25 percent of the time - although I'm working on expanding this. I experience such a great peacefulness and "rightness" when I'm connected with Spirit, so I've taken note of what creates that feeling of connection for me, and I continue to create ways to make that connection throughout each part of my day. How do you connect with Spirit? There are so many ways that I connect with Spirit. One of the ways I've found creates the strongest connection is through breathing meditations - some of which I've learned in yoga class and through Deepak Chopra's books. Nature also offers a strong connection with Spirit for me. Just being in absolute stillness, being competely present, and experiencing or observing life in the moment is incredibly spiritual for me. Another fantastic way I connect with Spirit is through creating - typically painting and ceramics, other crafty projects and writing. When do you connect with Spirit? Typically, I start and end my day with meditation time - even if it's only a few brief minutes it really helps me center myself and experience more peace. I've found that there are always fantastic opportunities to consciously connect with Spirit throughout the day. For example, I may do a breathing exercise or other quiet meditations when I find myself waiting in line, riding the bus or walking to the store. Labels: Exercises # posted by Amy L. Burns @ 3:43 PM 0 comments
Monday, July 31, 2006Creating what you want: Step 2Step Two: Know what you want.In Step 1, I discuss how focusing on the problem only makes the problem bigger, leaving little time for illuminating all of the possible solutions. Ultimately, it can often be helpful to shift your attention to thinking about what you actually want. After all, we could spend days and weeks talking about all the problems and what isn't working and how much so-and-so really drives you up the wall... but that is the same kind of activity that has kept you in the same situation, turning your wheels and getting nowhere. By shifting the focus from the problem (or what you don't want) to what you want, you stop focusing on something that makes you feel bad and begin creating a positive target or goal - something to work toward that makes you feel good. So, if Step 1 is to shift your focus from the problem (or what you don't want) to what you want, then Step 2 is to know what you want. The fastest way to get what we want is to first know what it is that we want. What do you want to experience? What do you want to be doing? How do you want to feel? What kind of person do you want to be? Imagine a friend asks you, "Can you help me find something? I don't know what it is, I just know that something is missing. Please, help me look." Can you feel yourself slipping away into the abyss??? It would go a lot quicker if they knew and we knew what we were searching for. Let's imagine that whatever you want is like a treasure - your own personal treasure. What is your treasure? What does it look like? What does it feel like? Can you taste your treasure? Does it have a particular scent? Perhaps your treasure is "a good relationship" or "a good job". How will you know when you've found your treasure? For many of us, it can feel extremely challenging to know what we want. We are constantly bombarded with messages telling us we need and what we should want. These messages impact our beliefs about ourselves and our world in subtle and obvious ways making it difficult to know which beliefs we hold actually belong to us and which belong to our culture, parents, friends, etc. Even then, when we are able to pin point what we want, we often define it by other people's terms. Mostly, we make assumptions about what we want based on what other people define as treasure. "Mom and Dad believe having a corporate job is the best possible way to earn a living, therefore I should have a corporate job." It may turn out that a corporate job does make you blissfully happy. The best way to find out what you want is to start inside, asking yourself what feels best for you, what you most desire. If corporate job happens to come up, great - go for it! However, what if something else comes up for you? Something you didn't expect, or something you had dismissed! Hunting for your own treasure, and finding it, will be far more satisfying than hunting and finding someone else's treasure. Remember, you're the one who gets to keep what you find. Your treasure can be simple, complex, vague or specific. There is no wrong answer. You can start with something vague or specific, then add or release details as you see fit. Perhaps your treasure is as simple as feeling sense of peace. What is it that brings you peace or gives you a sense of peace in your life? List as many things as you can think of. For me, a experience peace when I'm in nature. This can be in the woods, at the beach, in the desert. For you, a sense of peace may be when the kids are at school and all the dishes are done. Or perhaps when you've completed a project at work or closed a deal. Is your treasure experiencing a sense of joy? Playing tennis? Driving in the country? Knitting? Being in a good relationship? Having lots of money? Being in a band? Helping other people? Sending your kids to good schools? Making new friends? If you're having difficulty figuring out what you want or identifying your own personal treasure, you might start with something you don't like and apply Step 1. For example, lets say your car keeps breaking down and this routinely makes you late, plus it costs an arm and a leg to repair... and to make it worse, you hate the color! This car brings you lots of grief! Let's take this grief-inducing situation and flip it - What do you want? If it were a perfect world, what would you have/do/be? It's possible that your answer comes easily - "I would have a brand new Lexus" or "a 1996 Mazda, blue with grey interior." Or maybe "I wouldn't need a car, I could ride my bike everywhere." Another example might be knowing you are dissatisfied and want to feel something else. What would you prefer to feel? List the emotions or qualities you'd like to experience. Perhaps your list contains words like "peace, bliss, joy, satisfaction, happiness, adventure, calm, excitement." Take each of your words, one by one, and think or write about what that emotion or quality looks like. What creates a sense of adventure for you? When is it that you most feel adventurous, or imagine yourself feeling adventurous - what's happening in that scenario? Additional questions to consider: What does this treasure represent for you? What is important to you about finding or having this treasure? What does it look, feel, taste, and smell like? Imagine how it feels to have found this treasure? List those feelings. What else do you do or participate in that creates these feelings or experiences? When you know what you want, you are also more able to perceive subtle opportunities all around you. This greater awareness can help you make decisions that help you get what you want. Labels: Exercises # posted by Amy L. Burns @ 9:11 AM 0 comments
Thursday, May 04, 2006Creating what you want: Step 1Step One: Shift your focusWe are very much a problem-solving oriented culture. We each spend much of our day looking for problems, reporting problems and fixing problems. We're problem experts. We all have a good idea about what the problem is with so-and-so, with the government, or with xyz. In fact, next time you're surrounded by conversation listen to how many people start sentences with "The problem is...". There are several key steps to creating what you want in your life. Believe it or not, the key isn't focusing on the problem. Focusing on the problem only makes the problem bigger and leaves little time for illuminating all of the possible solutions. Rather than focusing on the problem, It can often be helpful to shift your attention to thinking about what you actually want. After all, we could spend days and weeks talking about all the problems and what isn't working and how much so-and-so really drives you up the wall... but that is the same kind of activity that has kept you in the same situation, turning your wheels and getting nowhere. Remember driver's education? When you begin driving you are instructed to watch the road ahead, keeping your eyes on where you want the car to go - the lane you want to be in when you arrive up the road in 15 seconds. One reason for this is that wherever your eyes are pointed is where the car will go. If you're staring at the accident that just happened to your left, the accident is all you see. Quickly you'll veer off course or not notice the car in front of you stopping and end up in your own accident. Another reason is that when you're looking up ahead, you have a broad peripheral vision - the ability to see everything going on around you. This allows you to see the car next to you changing lanes, the pot hole on the next block, as well as the new Exit that must have opened up and which is a more direct route. The result is you are better able to navigate obstacles, see opportunities and get to where you are going safely and more efficiently. Your life is a similar, albeit different, vehicle. If your attention is on the problem, your life will drive right into the problem. Likewise, if your attention is on what you want, your life will drive straight ahead into what you want. Shifting your attention to what you want takes your focus off the stuff that makes you feel overwhelmed, unhappy, angry, frustrated, and helpless. These feelings leave you feeling drained and often unable to take action or see opportunities for something better/different. Any action you do take will likely also be focused on the problem, keeping your attention in that space of negative emotion, possibly causing you to miss whatever amazing stuff is happening around you. Conveniently, when you're focused on what you want, your peripheral vision can see all kinds of interesting opportunities and possible obstacles. This can be a tremendous benefit as you navigate the road of your life. Shifting your attention to what you want allows you to focus on the things that make you feel good, peaceful or excited, joyful, energized and full of possibilities. When you feel good, you are more resourceful, see multiple possibilities, and are better able to take creative action, allowing you to get what want more efficiently, effortlessly, joyfully and peacefully. When you find yourself focusing on the problem, take a step back and ask "Wait. What do I really want?" Let what you want become your compass and guide on this great journey. Labels: Exercises # posted by Amy L. Burns @ 1:21 PM 0 comments
Saturday, April 15, 2006Messages in dissatisfactionIf your life, relationships, job or body seemingly aren't working, what message is there for you?No matter what, there is always a message or lesson in what is happening (or not happening) in our lives. If you are doing what you love and getting what you want out of life, the message might be that you are clear in your purpose and to continue in the direction you are moving. Likewise, it may be that by doing what you love, you will get what you need and want. What is the message your life, mind, body or spirit is trying to share with you if things aren't amazing or if you aren't getting what you want? For me, whenever I recognize that I'm dissatisfied with something, I also recognize it is an opportunity for greater understanding and awareness, an opportunity to change what I'm thinking or how I'm behaving in order to create something that better matches what I want to experience. Our mind, body and spirit all have one goal - of living a happy, healthy life. If this isn't happening for you, your mind, body or spirit will let you know through a variety of unpleasant mental, emotional or physical cues. These cues may come in all kinds of forms ranging from frustration to anger, sadness to depression, a headache to a broken leg, or even events and situations in our lives. Whatever the signal, you will likely experience it as some sort of dissatisfaction or discomfort. If you are experiencing dissatisfaction, the presence of this dissatisfaction is your mind, body or spirit's way of telling you its time for you to make adjustments to how you are thinking, how you are living, what you are doing, and/or who you are being. There are two important elements to what I just said... The first is that something needs to change. If nothing changes, the dissatisfaction will stay, too. The second part is that you are responsible for making the necessary changes. It isn't the outside world that needs to change to make you happy (even though we often want it to) - you need to change something in what you are believing, thinking, doing, or being. This doesn't mean you are wrong, bad or messed up. It merely means that you get to honor of being one person capable of and responsible for creating the experience you want. Wow, you hold incredible power! What messages are your life, mind, body and/or spirit currently giving you? How are you listening to these messages? With criticism, guilt, and anger or with love, compassion and forgiveness? What are you willing to do in order to experience more satisfaction? Labels: Exercises # posted by Amy L. Burns @ 12:14 PM 0 comments
Thursday, April 06, 2006How do you spell relief?Stress can creep right into a person's life, seemingly without warning. Like a freckle we've had since we can remember, over time we quickly become accustomed to feeling stress so that we no longer notice it sitting with us.What I've noticed is that building stress-releasing activities into my daily routine can really help me release stress, and prevent stress build-up. Kind of like using Tilex every time you shower, releasing bits of stress each day keeps my mind and body feeling clear. I also find it leaves me better prepared to deal with minor irritations and what can sometimes feel like huge crises. For me, there are so many avenues for relieving and releasing stress, and they are often some of the same things that nourish my spirit in general.
How do you relieve and release stress? How do you nourish your spirit? Labels: Exercises # posted by Amy L. Burns @ 2:52 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, March 21, 2006Love and ApprovalI believe that all each of us truly wants and needs from another is love and approval. I believe that each person is their own best expert regarding their own journey and life lessons. I believe that each person will make choices that truly support whatever they believe to be true about themselves. I believe that with unconditional love, approval and support, those choices will come from a place of self-love. And I believe that regardless of where the choices come from - self-love or self-hatred, they will absolutely result in incredible learning and growth. I believe this serves the person perfectly wherever they are in their journey.A great place to start is by giving yourself the ultimate gift of your own complete and unconditional love and approval. Really notice what you have done "right" and "well" today. Recognize and acknowledge how you have honored your true self, lived in alignment with your values, and created something beautiful and loving. Seek those spaces out - find them - because they are absolutely in there. You are perfect, here and now, exactly as you are. You are becoming more amazing with each passing moment and day. Don't wait another day to love yourself and approve of yourself. Labels: Exercises # posted by Amy L. Burns @ 11:51 AM 0 comments
Saturday, March 11, 2006Boundaries, a great way to say "I love me."Many of us have difficulty setting and maintaining appropriate boundaries in our relationships, even if we're great at recognizing and observing the boundaries of others.When we don't have good boundaries and experience our boundaries being crossed, we often experience frustration, irritation, and sadness -all of which can make it extra challenging to create a sense of joy and love. There are many ways you can choose to deal with these kinds of situations. When possible, you might choose to avoid the people who cross boundaries. You also might choose to just "take it", allowing them to trample you with their fear and negativity. There is also a point at which you might decide you just can't take it anymore, and you want it to stop. My question is, how badly do you want it to stop? Badly enough to take action? Or not just yet (its okay if you’re not ready). Consider first, "What do you want the relationship to look/feel like?" What is your ideal relationship with this person. Or if you notice that "everyone" crosses these boundaries with you, what do you want everyone to do or how do you want everyone to behave in this situation? Most likely your answer will be something to the effect of "I want to be respected, to be listened to, or to be left alone." Every person has a right to be respected and to feel valued – you absolutely deserve respect and to be valued, and you know this in your heart to be true. How do you make yourself feel valued? What do you do to show others and yourself how much value you have? Having and enforcing boundaries is a fantastic way to say “I love me.” When you have clear boundaries and enforce them, you show that you have a commitment to yourself, and that you value your energy, time, and space (physical, emotional, mental and spiritual). And if you’ve been a boundless space before, people are not going to like it that you are building fences and creating boundaries, especially if they are on the “outside”. They like to walk through the grass, enjoy the fantastic energy and views that you provide – no matter what it costs you in stress, frustration, energy or other resources. So, when you put up your new boundaries, know that there will be objections from your community now that they have to walk all the way around that lush grassy carpet to get to their T station. Also know that you absolutely have the right to protect your Self with boundaries! Its your energy, its your life, its your Self! They have a right to have boundaries, too – regardless if they choose to have them or not. At what point does it become worth it to enforce your boundaries versus “suffer” getting trampled on? Only you know what you are willing to put up with. Its kind of a question of, does it hurt more to have the broken leg or to get surgery / a cast put on? The surgery might hurt like hell, but I guarantee its better than the lifetime of pain that improperly healed broken leg will provide. Here are a few questions to help you determine for yourself: How much time, energy, emotion do you spend each day feeling frustrated, angry, hurt by other people who aren’t able or willing to guess your boundaries? How much does it cost you to not have or enforce boundaries? If you created and enforced boundaries, how much time, energy, emotion would that require? How much relief could it provide in the long run? Just like anything else, it will take a while to convince folks that the fence you put up is meant to keep them out. And if they don’t care, it might even take a bit after that to convince them to stop hopping the fence. With loving persistence, and compassionate consistency I believe you can teach them to respect whatever boundaries you set. The first step is awareness and clarity of what your boundaries are. What’s okay and what’s not okay? Certainly, a person can’t enforce a boundary if they don’t know where it lies. If its too daunting to set up a dozen new boundaries all at once and suffer the wrath of the community, choose for yourself what seems like either the “easiest,” or the most pressing boundary to create and enforce. Next, people have to be made aware of the boundary otherwise they will keep on crossing it. If there is no fence or signage, you bet I’m walking across the grass – its an open invitation and that grass is lush and pretty. When you feel ready, start letting people know ahead of time (before they piss you off and you start cutting heads off) that there is a new boundary and it will be strictly enforced. Finally, enforce that sucker like a mad woman/man! Lovingly remind people that they have just crossed a boundary – illustrate by labeling their behavior and/or the boundary. Keep replacing the sign and fence whenever they are trampled over until your community complies. If that doesn’t work, call the cops ;) When people seem to have it figured out, you can decide for yourself if its appropriate or time to call off the guards or replace the chain link fence with something more decorative. You’ll intuitively know who needs to see the chain link fence verses the pretty knee-high wrought iron one. Of course, if you aren’t ready to weather the storm just yet, file this information away! You can always pull it out later. You know what you can handle right now, and you know what is best for you better than anyone else can ever know. Know that you are already doing an awesome job! Your blossoming awareness is part of creating something new for yourself. There is no wrong/right way to go about this situation, and you are traveling a road that every person has had to travel. Fortunately, you have the incredible insight and self-awareness to see the patterns! That means you get to choose what to do next – most folks just stay stuck in the patterns most/all of their lives not quite knowing why their family interactions feel so crumby. Whenever you are ready to take that next step, you have some new tools to help you create the life you desire. Labels: Exercises # posted by Amy L. Burns @ 10:13 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, January 31, 2006Everybody Thinks...Each one of us hold, in our own mind, a committee of people who evaluate and judge what we do, say, think, believe, want, etc. Martha Beck, author of Finding Your Own North Star , calls this our "Everybody Committee" or "Everybody" for short.As I've been reviewing my Everybody Committee membership files, I've found that truly only a couple people make up my Everybody, and generally any of the negative beliefs I ascribe to them are false or unwarranted. For example, while considering my artwork, I came up with this: "People judge me because I have no formal training as an artist. They see my paintings as silly, rudimentary, lacking skill and talent." When I tried to make a list of six actual people who I knew or knew truly believed this about my artwork, I couldn't find a single person. No one I know personally, (or even don't know but who has communicated with me about my creations) believes this about my artwork. In fact, I've only received positive and affirming feedback about my paintings and ceramics. I tend to get a lot of "Wow! This is really good!" So, where did this belief come from, that I need formal education in art in order to be an artist? The underlying belief is fear. No one has ever said I am a bad artist. But I can certainly pinpoint my own fear of being called a bad artist. I fear that people will say I haven't enough education, that my artwork is unoriginal, boring, easy to reproduce. Wow. That's a lot of fear. To counter this belief and get myself into a better space, I decided to look at what people are really saying, and make a list of people who actually say these things. What I found is that people actually love my artwork, want me to continue creating more and more, want me to get it out there into view, and want to buy my art to display in their homes! I was easily able to come up with a dozen different people who actually believe and honestly say these things to me - some of them are complete strangers who just saw my art website and emailed me to say how much they loved my work! For what may be obvious reasons, I decided to reassign my Everybody Committee to a remote location in Hawaii where they can rest up and take in some sunshine (they need it after all that judging and conjuring of fears they've been doing), and hire the people who love my artwork to replace them. With my new, positive and loving Everybody Committee I feel so much more supported, and they lovingly help me stay focused on what really matters - doing what I love while being my most authentic self. Exercise: What is your Everybody Committee saying to you? Write down all the things your Everybody Committee believes about you, your work, hobbies, dreams, goals, choices, desires, future, past, present, finances, physical wellbeing, friendships, romantic relationship, personal development, the way you spend your time, rest and relaxation, spiritual beliefs. Who make up this committee? Make a list of people who actually and honestly believe these things about you and the areas in your life you've written about. Try to come up with at least six individual people, and be as honest as you can be. Some of these people are people you love and care about, others are people you despise and wish would fall of the face of the earth. What do people really think and say to you? Write down all the positive things people actually say to about you, your work, hobbies, dreams, goals, choices, desires, future, past, present, finances, physical wellbeing, friendships, romantic relationship, personal development, the way you spend your time, rest and relaxation, spiritual beliefs. Do these people believe you should be happy, healthy, wealthy, comfortable, loved, connected, and experiencing life with ease and joy? Who make up this committee? Make a list of people who actually and honestly believe these things about you and the areas in your life you've written about. How many individual people can you come up with for each. Most likely these will be people that you love and care for, and perhaps people you feel inspired by. In fact, some of them might even say things like "I love you and support you no matter what you do!" Which Everybody Committee most supports your goals, dreams, desires and general wellbeing? Which folks would you prefer to keep on your Everybody Committee? Now, recognizing that the less supportive folks who fill you will their fears are well-meaning and just trying to keep you from making mistakes or getting hurt, once served you incredibly well and provided an important function, mentally thank them for their help and send them on a long awaited vacation - they need it! It's hard work judging and keeping fears going. Make a conscious choice to fill the seats of your Everybody Committee with people who believe in you, love you, and hold no fears or judgements about you. And every time your former Everybody Committee starts to chime in with fear based messages, make a thank them for their assistance, send them on vacation if required, and call in your new Everybody Committee who will fill you with supportive and affirming messages that will help you reach your goals and fulfill your desires. Labels: Exercises # posted by Amy L. Burns @ 12:49 PM 0 comments
Friday, January 20, 2006HealingThis world gives us a lot of messages about what we should do and who we should be. And more often than not, we receive a great deal of criticism and experience a tremendous amount of stress based on these external "shoulds," which ultimately become internal "shoulds." There are a lot of layers to peel through to get to what we truly want, and who we truly are.Years ago, I discovered Louise L. Hay's incredible book You Can Heal Your Life. What I love about this book is how powerful it is in its simplicity. The colorful pages and imagery with Louise's loving and insightful affirmations and meditations are so powerful. I never tire of re-reading chapters or opening to a random page for on-the-spot guidance and inquiry. Whenever I find a new layer of "shoulds," outside expectations that I've adopted as my own at some point in my life, I pick up the companion book to You Can Heal Your Life, also by Louise L. Hay. You Can Heal Your Life Companion Book has been a powerful tool in my own healing and I often recommend it to both clients and friends who are seeking deep emotional healing and greater self-knowledge. I find myself returning to the exercises in this magical workbook yearly, at minimum. Each time, I experience the exercise in a whole new way. Always, I am astounded at how much I've grown and changed since the last time I completed the exercises, and I am thrilled at how much I have let go of, transformed and created in my life. You are an incredible light, glowing and growing each day - even if it doesn't appear so at first glance. If you have writings or a workbook you use for growth and change, take a look back at something from a year or more ago. Where were you in your journey? Where are you now? Have you moved forward? Has your thinking changed? Congratulate yourself for any changes and transformations you have made in your life. Labels: Exercises # posted by Amy L. Burns @ 3:17 PM 0 comments
Saturday, December 03, 2005What is success?For me, success is being true to my Self while doing what most fulfills me, and living comfortably.When I consider my definition of success, I recognize how incredibly successful I am - right now! Success isn't something that eludes me. In fact, I would argue that at one time, I eluded success by living according to other people's values and definition of success! What I have discovered, is that as long as I am being true to my Self and doing what most fulfills me, I find myself living comfortably, enjoying my friends and family, truly growing spiritually, and living a very rich and joyous life. It is so incredible to me how every thing I intentioned for myself two years ago has manifested, exactly as I asked for it. Part of creating what I currently have, was owning that I am the creator of my experience and life. Every thought I choose to think creates my reality, creates my experience, and due to the law of attraction creates my future. With this shift in consciousness came a great opening up to the possibilities and the realization that I had been operating on someone else's definition of success and not my own. If taking responsibility for my experience and creations was the first step, the second step was clarifying what it was I truly wanted - creating my own definition of success. This really required a great deal of exploration, getting in touch with my higher Self and the willingness to hear what I really wanted in life. Believe it or not, it was hard for me to hear that I wanted to be an artist, writer and life coach. Of course, it made perfect sense that I would want these things since they were in complete alignment with the kinds of things I dreamt of being "when I grew up," But they weren't consistent with what I felt society expected from me. As I shed other people's definitions of what was right and good and profitable, I tuned into my own voice to find out what was right and good for me. Step three was recognizing that we naturally gravitate toward our true calling, and that if we live in alignment with our true selves, being and doing what comes most natural to us, the Universe - Spirit - will support us one hundred percent, and we will absolutely experience success. Instead of focusing on what I disliked and didn't have, I consciously began filling my Self with all the things I loved and wanted. As I supported the positive aspects of my life, the negative habits, patterns, thinking, ways of being and doing that weren't serving me began to fall away. There simply wasn't room for negativity any longer. There simply wasn't room for an unfulfilling job or relationship. They just didn't fit any more. The negative falling to the side only created more room for the positive to grow and fill up the space. Today, have an incredible, loving relationship with someone invested in spiritual growth; I create beautiful artwork which sells on my art websites; and I coach wonderful people who are ready and willing to live their lives more fully, which all the rich experiences the Universe offers! So, what does success mean for you? Labels: Exercises # posted by Amy L. Burns @ 2:28 PM 0 comments
Friday, July 22, 2005Creating True ProsperityAs I've been working on simplifying my life this last year, really ridding my life of clutter and less fulfilling work in order to make room for what I value and love, it seems like a good time to reread Creating True Prosperity by Shakti Gawain.Shakti poses some fantastic questions in the first three chapters that really help remind me of what I want and what I have. What is prosperity? My personal definition of prosperity not so much rooted in money. I visualize prosperity as being physically comfortable in my surroundings - home, work, play. Having the things I need to feel that comfort, and having the time to relax and enjoy my surroundings. Prosperity is doing the work I love, being well compensated for that work, and having plenty of time to enjoy creative hobbies and sunbathing. Prosperity is traveling the world, perhaps one special trip per year. Basically, having a life of comfort and ease, all at a relaxed pace. What do I truly want? I truly want a comfortable and clutter-free home, with enough space for a personal "retreat" area (even if its a closet or a corner in a room). I want a job where I value the work I do, inspire people to live their dreams, and where I can really tap into my own resourcefulness and intuition. I also want to create beautiful artwork that people love and want to display in their homes or share as gifts. I want time to relax and sunshine to lay in. What is most important to me? Love, ease, joy, abundance, silence, meaningful connection, security, comfort and peace are most important to me. What do I need on each of the following levels? Spiritual: a silent retreat, time and space to create, gratitude, meaningful connection, meditation Mental: opportunities for learning new things about myself and the world, deep and meaningful conversations, time and space for reading and thinking, outdoor exploration, meditation Emotional: a silent retreat, time and space to create, meaningful connection, introspection and quiet contemplation, positive support, love, reading, meditation Physical: food, water, shelter, hugs, daily exersize, adequate sleep, naps, pleasure, challenge, variety, meditation What needs and desires are already being met? As I consider the previous questions, this question becomes so easy for me to answer. So many of my needs and desires are already being met! I am experiencing incredible prosperity. I have food, water and shelter. I am physically healthy and walk daily for fun and exersize. I have an incredibly weet, kind ,generous, beautiful, loving, brilliant, talented, sexy, patient, creative boyfriend. I have excellent friends with whom I experience love, creativity, connection, positive support, and intellectual stimulation. I can often find solitude and quiet places to spend time for reading, rest, contemplation and creating art. And I feel more spiritually connected than any other time in my life. Defining prosperity, considering what I need and then what I have, really creates awareness. Through this process I have a clear understanding of what I want and need to feel prosperous, making it easier for me to set goals on attaining these things. Also, I have an increased awareness of what I already have. This helps me feel more gratitude for what I have, more prosperous, and also allows me to see resources (time/money/etc.) I have but might be fully utilizing. What comes up for you when you answer these questions? Labels: Exercises # posted by Amy L. Burns @ 1:43 PM 0 comments
Thursday, April 21, 2005decisions, decisionsSometimes I get stuck between a rock and a hard place. Often I'm the one responsible for getting myself there.There are two kinds of decisions. The kind we are excited to make, and the kind that we dread and put off, hoping something will happen or someone else will decide for us. For me, the last year has been full of the dreaded kind. It has been a rough but amazing year. After tormenting myself for a few days or weeks in complete indecision, and I am frantic enough to try to escape to Cuba, I often come to my senses remembering that I don't have to be so stressed out. I don't have to be tormented by indecision. At the root of indecision I find two feelings in panic mode, running around, feeding off each other and causing all kinds of debauchery: overwhelm and fear. Overwhelm and fear tend to breed a burning desire to escape. And when I feel the need to escape, I feel it in a gigantic way. Working on escaping does nothing to solve the actually problem. In fact, it merely provides a distraction, until all of a sudden, the escaping itself becomes overwhelming and I start to panic. This is usually where it becomes "do or die" and since I'm the kind of person who does and lives, I remember how easy life wants to be, and that all I need to do is stop struggling and listen to my heart. It can take a bit to dig around and find the root of the problem under all that gunky fear, overwhelm, escape and panic. But it's there, waiting to be uncovered. Coaching uses some simple but powerful questions to help me get going and create a solution. Here is what part of a coaching session around money might look like:
The great thing about this coaching conversation is the panic and frustration are disolved once the source of the issue is revealed and we've started to focus on the present and creating what is most desired. When we bring decisions down to the heart level of "what do you really want?" it opens up so many possibilities for actually creating the future. It is amazing how much easier it is to make a decision when considering what we truly desire in life. What decision have you been putting off? What is it that you truly want? What would it take to make that happen? Labels: Exercises # posted by Amy L. Burns @ 4:37 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, December 07, 2004How Magnificent Were You?Dear Magnificent Readers,Whoa! 2004 is coming to a close. Is it possible??? Did 2004 already happen? Its amazing how quickly time passes when we are busy – regardless of whether we are enjoying ourselves or not. Well, before you break out your pen and paper to start those resolutions for 2005, I’ve got a little plan for us! YAY! I love plans. Lets take some time this month to think about how magnificent we were in 2004.
Next month we’ll do something thinking around creating a fantastic 2005! Whatever holiday you might be celebrating this winter, take time to appreciate your self. You are important, you matter, you are beautiful and you are loved. Thank you for helping me make 2004 a year of amazing growth and opportunity! Love, Amy Labels: Exercises # posted by Amy L. Burns @ 9:16 AM 0 comments
Do what you love!A teacher brings a large glass jar filled with four big rocks to school and places it on her desk in front of the class. First, what is your observation? Write about it for a minute. When you’ve finished, scroll down. * * * * “Think about it,” the teacher says quietly. “If I had started with the sand and the gravel, there would never have been any room for the rocks. But when we put the important things into our lives first, the gravel and sand activities still find a way to squeeze themselves in.” * In the last couple years I really started taking a look at the sand, gravel and rocks in my life. Something of a “Little Dig” to see what was there, what wasn’t and what I wanted to be there. I emptied my jar, and to my surprise found tons of sand, gravel and a couple really small rocks. I thought about how much time I was spending doing the things that I “had” to do or “should” do, and how little time I felt I had left over for the things I love doing, wanted to do, or always wanted to try. It didn’t feel like I had enough time for those things. Because I’m very stubborn and I insist on getting something out of my life, I decided I was going to make time and that everyone around me would have to find a way to accommodate me. I chose carefully what my big rocks would be and decided when it would best serve me and the other facets of my life to spend time on each of these rocks. I came up with the understanding that I needed one week night for one rock, another week night for another rock and my third rock would need an entire weekday. The week nights would need to be negotiated with my partner. The weekday with my employer. Although not terribly keen on the idea of finding her own (possibly quiet) entertainment, my partner was willing to give me my two week nights. My employer thought it over and over and over, and finally agreed that I could be spared two week days per month if I used my vacation time. Success was mine and I took advantage of the time I had created for my self. In just under one and a half years time I have turned my three rocks from desires into my fulltime career. Take a look at your life. Empty your big jar of day-to-day and start with three to five big rocks - the three to five things that really nourish your spirit – owning your own company, knitting, soccer, writing, etc. Really take a chance and invest yourself in those activities or goals and experience the fulfillment you receive. Don’t worry, the laundry, chauffeuring, and yard work will always find a way to get done around the edges. And your jar/life will be amazingly full! *Adapted from a story told by Margaret Lobenstine (http://www.togetunstuck.com). Labels: Exercises # posted by Amy L. Burns @ 8:18 AM 0 comments
Saturday, May 01, 200415 minute grantDear artful and splendid readers,I hope you are enjoying the silly Spring weather wherever you may be. I bet most of us are caught up in the doingness of life right now. When is the last time you just got to “be” - No doing, no rushing around, no working, no getting this for them? See if you can grant yourself 15 minutes (or more!) to play outside today – even if it’s raining! Run out there, stand in the quiet you create with your mind, and just BE. You deserve it. I love you, you precious flecks of treasure! Sunshine and Butterflies, Amy Labels: Exercises # posted by Amy L. Burns @ 9:19 AM 0 comments
Sitting With DarknessWe all experience down days, no matter how fulfilling our lives are. As much as we all want to experience happiness and fulfillment, we must also be aware that we will have days, maybe an entire week or month, where we feel defeated, down, discouraged, angry, or other “negative” or “dark” emotions. This is a natural part of our human experience.It is a misconception that being happy or living a fulfilling life means that we experience no dissatisfaction or negative emotions. It is quite normal to experience emotions other than joy or contentment. However, because these times can be painful and/or overwhelming and our culture rarely teaches positive and appropriate ways to process these emotions, we often bury our pain, anger, frustration, sadness, grief, fear and anxiety. It makes sense that we do not want to feel the dark emotions - they don’t feel good. However, one of the best things we can do for our emotional selves is allow these emotions to surface when they do exist, and to sit with them. When we do not process these emotions and just stuff them deep within, they may manifest in other, potentially harmful ways months or even years later (e.g. physical ailments or conditions, or as seemingly non-related negative emotions or behaviors). At this point we may no longer be able to identify where they came from. On the other hand, observing and processing our dark emotions can offer great relief and wonderful opportunities for increased insight. When we allow our dark emotions to exist we are also being true to ourselves and allowing ourselves to be fully human. Next time you visit the darker caverns of emotion, consider giving yourself permission to be there. Give yourself permission to feel that full range of human emotions, and allow yourself an opportunity to sit with and process whatever emotions have emerged from within. A few questions to help you along:
Please note: It is important to recognize when dark emotions are momentary, passing, and/or temporary versus something more serious requiring outside professional assistance. If you feel seriously depressed, or are concerned about your own or another’s health and safety you should seek medical or professional help. Labels: Exercises # posted by Amy L. Burns @ 6:24 AM 0 comments
Thursday, April 01, 2004Prosperity NowLiving in the present has got to be one of the most paradoxical experiences I've known. As children we learn to live very much in the future - "When you get older you will be able to...", "You need to study hard so [in the future] you can get a good job or go to a good college...", "And what do you want to be when you grow up?", "What will you think of that when you're older?", "Don't ruin your life by doing...".Of course, our parents are well-meaning. There is merit in learning to consider the consequences of our decisions and actions, as well as planning ahead for the future. But at what point does living in the future work to paralyze and prevent us from making good choices? Much of creating a fulfilling life in the present requires us to release our attachment to the past (which can no longer be changed). This is not meant to discount the importance of taking the time and space to heal our hurts, and experience whatever we need in order to move forward in life. However, as we recover from past hurts, it can be more beneficial to let go of the past and begin living in today. After all, no matter how much we cry over spilled milk it won't hop back into the glass. Similar to dwelling on the past, living in the future (which has yet to occur) can be just as debilitating. During my first semester of college I chose not to pursue a math degree for fear of failure. Growing up, I had always had a passion for math and a knack for numbers, but I worried that the course of study would be too difficult. I feared that ultimately, I would be proved stupid. For many years later, I felt regret regarding that decision. I made a significant decision based on something that hadn't happened yet, and may not have ever come to pass. Choosing not to pursue a passion or avoiding making a decision based on the unknown doesn't prevent the unknown from happening. Imagine if we stopped buying and drinking milk just because we might spill it. Or we chose not to go to college because we might not graduate cum laude. We may merely be preventing our own nourishment, success and joy by allowing the unknown to impact our lives so greatly. These may be extreme examples, but how many times have you decided to pass up an intriguing opportunity or even a simple enjoyable moment because of what may or may not happen? Remember my friend (see March 2004) who enjoyed a wonderful bonding experience with her children because she chose to allow the floor to get dirty? Part of self-care and living in alignment with our life purpose is choosing to live fully in the present, not in the past or future. Living in the present means doing things that nourish us, being who we really are, not accepting less than we deserve, and living for true fulfillment. Next time you feel the "what ifs" coming on, consider asking yourself the following questions:
Labels: Exercises # posted by Amy L. Burns @ 9:12 AM 0 comments
Monday, March 01, 2004WondermentDearest Magnificent Readers,Beautiful spring seems to be upon us! What a wonderful feeling it is to watch the days grow longer and the sun change position in the sky. The air is fresh and crisp when I step outside and I'm reminded of all the wonderment I feel each year as the seasons change. What are you reminded of with the warming weather and longer days? How can you encourage that feeling of wonderment within yourself? In loving kindness, ~Amy Labels: Exercises # posted by Amy L. Burns @ 9:59 AM 0 comments
Sunday, February 01, 2004Love is in the AirValentines day is approaching and many of us feel the tug of this Hallmark holiday. For some, there are feelings of dread towards this day as it reminds us that we are alone. For others, we take this day as an opportunity to show our gratitude to our partner whom we love and adore.Regardless of our relationship status, there is one thing that is always required for a loving and successful relationship—our own sense of self-love. How we cultivate love for our self is similar to how we can cultivate success in our lives. What is it that your truly want for yourself? If you answer "a good relationship" or "a life partner", consider what this means to you. What does it mean to be in a relationship? What does a good relationship look like? What does it mean to have a life partner? What is the essence of each of these? Perhaps you define a good relationship as one of mutual respect, a sense of joy and romance. Perhaps being in a good relationship signifies to you that you are loved or successful. Try to separate your actual wants from the wants and "shoulds" your family and friends have for you. Now that you have considered what you really want and what that means for you, consider your underlying beliefs about love, success, joy or whatever you came up with. Do you believe that old song "Your nobody 'til somebody loves you?" Or, is your motto "What I first see in myself, others will find in me"? Well, whatever you believe for yourself is absolutely true, regardless if it supports your wants and desires. Realize that what you believe is true simply because you believe it. The secret is that you have absolute choice about what you believe. You can choose to continue believing that you are unworthy of love, that you will never find love or aren’t attractive enough. Or instead, you can choose a new belief that will support you in fulfilling your wants and desires. What beliefs would support you in getting what you want? "I am worthy of love." "There is love for me out there, and when I am ready, we will find each other." "I am incredibly attractive." The more love and gratitude you feel for yourself, the more love you have for others, and hence more love others will see in you. If we have little or no self-love, how can we expect to hold love for another person? Similarly. How can we expect another person to truly find love in us if we have no love for ourselves? When we hold ourselves as the highest love, others will feel that love and care self-emanating from us. Wow, is that attractive! People who love themselves are attracted to others who have great self-love. So, by loving yourself, you ensure that you will be in a good relationship since you will attract someone that is a reflection of your own magnificence. Certainly we will find the love we desire. Labels: Exercises # posted by Amy L. Burns @ 9:42 AM 0 comments
Thursday, January 01, 2004Happy New Year!I can hardly believe we have begun a new year already. Time seems to fly faster and faster as each year passes. I experienced a tremendous amount of growth and joy in 2003, and as anticipated, I added many new skills and tools to my "coaching toolkit". I am excited to continue to share these with you over the upcoming year.It takes a great deal of conscious creation to get where we want to be in life. As I clean out my closets and under my bed, I routinely ask myself "does this belief support my core values and my life purpose?" When my answer is "no", I take a step back and let go of the thought, item, or obligation that no longer contributes positively to my fulfillment. Often times this frees up energy or time to recognize and accept incoming opportunities that are aligned with my deepest desires (e.g., comfort, abundance, happiness). When my answer is "yes", I smile and enjoy the satisfaction that accompanies the knowledge that I am being true to myself. Because it is the beginning of the new year, I thought it only fitting to write about one of several foundational coaching principles - conscious creation. For some it may be a whole new concept. For others, it may already be a part of daily life. Regardless, it is always a wonderful gift of self-care when we reexamine our beliefs about ourselves and about how we approach life. As you clean out your closets and under your beds, taking stock of your life, consider asking yourself what beliefs best support your truth, and what you would like to focus on this year. And, if you are comfortable, I would love for you to try on the idea that "what you focus on expands" and see if any part of it fits for you. Sending you great warmth, ~Amy Labels: Exercises # posted by Amy L. Burns @ 9:58 AM 0 comments
What we focus on expandsHave you ever heard the idea that what we focus on expands? Not only does "it" (what we focus on) expand in our minds, eventually consuming all of our energy and thoughts, but by focusing on "it," our frequency in experiencing "it" increases as well. In other words, the more we focus on fear, the larger our fear grows. We also begin to experience that fear more frequently.As a child, there was a certain leg-grabbing monster living under my bed, waiting for me each night as I turned the light out. Regardless of my amazing grasp on reality and outstanding sense of logic, I was not swayed by the understanding and genuine belief that no monster existed. I would stand at my door, ready to run and jump into bed the moment I flipped the light switch. I was certain that if my leg neared the gap between my mattress and the floor, the monster would capture me. The more I focused on the monster and protecting myself from it, the smarter the monster became. This required more intricate "rules" of protection, thus causing the monster to continue expanding in size, intelligence and motivation to capture me. The more I thought about this monster, the more fear and panic I felt. What a terrifying, yet irrational cycle! As I got older, I defeated the monster by releasing it. Instead of focusing my attention on the monster, what would protect me, or how illogical it was to imagine a monster, I started focusing my attention on something positive and comforting. As a child, I would think about unicorns and rainbows, or talk to my stuffed animals about their days. As a teenager (yes, the monster was still there) I read, listened to music, or thought of beautiful scenery. As adults, our monsters may no longer live under the bed, but they come in many other forms. Mostly we find them hiding out as our own self-doubt ("I don't know what to do"), negative beliefs we hold about ourselves ("I can't handle crises" or "I'm a horrible person"), and even the negative thoughts or opinions instilled by our friends and family ("You shouldn't do that, you should do this instead" or "That's not really your strong suit"). Fortunately, the principle of expansion can work in any way we choose. It can work for us in a positive or negative way. If we choose to focus on fear, anxiety, anger, poverty or misery, it is most likely that these feelings will grow and we will experience them more frequently. Likewise, if we choose to focus on trust, joy, abundance and comfort, our experience of these feelings will increase. What a wonderful opportunity to take control of our experiences! We can now choose to stop a negative, limiting thought and turn it into a positive, helpful, fulfilling thought. Knowing that what I focus on will expand, I can choose to focus on what I don't want or what I do want. Focusing on what I don't want will bring me more of what I don't want - that monster. Focusing on what I want will bring me more of what I want - unicorns and rainbows (feel free to substitute your desire here). Now I can choose to focus on beliefs and ideas that support me and bring me closer to my goals and a fulfilling life. "I am open to a wonderful, fulfilling job that utilizes and expands my skills, knowledge and talents." "I have wonderful relationships with caring and trustworthy people." "I choose to eat healthy food that supports and nurtures my body." Sound crazy? Try it for a week and see what happens. The only thing you've got to lose is your monster. What we focus on expands. Labels: Exercises # posted by Amy L. Burns @ 9:31 AM 0 comments
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