Everybody Thinks...

Each one of us hold, in our own mind, a committee of people who evaluate and judge what we do, say, think, believe, want, etc. Martha Beck, author of Finding Your Own North Star, calls this our "Everybody Committee" or "Everybody" for short.

As I've been reviewing my Everybody Committee membership files, I've found that truly only a couple people make up my Everybody, and generally any of the negative beliefs I ascribe to them are false or unwarranted.

For example, while considering my artwork, I came up with this: "People judge me because I have no formal training as an artist. They see my paintings as silly, rudimentary, lacking skill and talent." When I tried to make a list of six actual people who I knew or knew truly believed this about my artwork, I couldn't find a single person. No one I know personally, (or even don't know but who has communicated with me about my creations) believes this about my artwork. In fact, I've only received positive and affirming feedback about my paintings and ceramics. I tend to get a lot of "Wow! This is really good!"

So, where did this belief come from, that I need formal education in art in order to be an artist? The underlying belief is fear. No one has ever said I am a bad artist. But I can certainly pinpoint my own fear of being called a bad artist. I fear that people will say I haven't enough education, that my artwork is unoriginal, boring, easy to reproduce. Wow. That's a lot of fear.

To counter this belief and get myself into a better space, I decided to look at what people are really saying, and make a list of people who actually say these things. What I found is that people actually love my artwork, want me to continue creating more and more, want me to get it out there into view, and want to buy my art to display in their homes! I was easily able to come up with a dozen different people who actually believe and honestly say these things to me - some of them are complete strangers who just saw my art website and emailed me to say how much they loved my work!

For what may be obvious reasons, I decided to reassign my Everybody Committee to a remote location in Hawaii where they can rest up and take in some sunshine (they need it after all that judging and conjuring of fears they've been doing), and hire the people who love my artwork to replace them. With my new, positive and loving Everybody Committee I feel so much more supported, and they lovingly help me stay focused on what really matters - doing what I love while being my most authentic self.


Exercise:

What is your Everybody Committee saying to you?
Write down all the things your Everybody Committee believes about you, your work, hobbies, dreams, goals, choices, desires, future, past, present, finances, physical wellbeing, friendships, romantic relationship, personal development, the way you spend your time, rest and relaxation, spiritual beliefs.

Who make up this committee?
Make a list of people who actually and honestly believe these things about you and the areas in your life you've written about. Try to come up with at least six individual people, and be as honest as you can be. Some of these people are people you love and care about, others are people you despise and wish would fall of the face of the earth.

What do people really think and say to you?
Write down all the positive things people actually say to about you, your work, hobbies, dreams, goals, choices, desires, future, past, present, finances, physical wellbeing, friendships, romantic relationship, personal development, the way you spend your time, rest and relaxation, spiritual beliefs. Do these people believe you should be happy, healthy, wealthy, comfortable, loved, connected, and experiencing life with ease and joy?

Who make up this committee?
Make a list of people who actually and honestly believe these things about you and the areas in your life you've written about. How many individual people can you come up with for each. Most likely these will be people that you love and care for, and perhaps people you feel inspired by. In fact, some of them might even say things like "I love you and support you no matter what you do!"

Which Everybody Committee most supports your goals, dreams, desires and general wellbeing? Which folks would you prefer to keep on your Everybody Committee? Now, recognizing that the less supportive folks who fill you will their fears are well-meaning and just trying to keep you from making mistakes or getting hurt, once served you incredibly well and provided an important function, mentally thank them for their help and send them on a long awaited vacation - they need it! It's hard work judging and keeping fears going.

Make a conscious choice to fill the seats of your Everybody Committee with people who believe in you, love you, and hold no fears or judgements about you. And every time your former Everybody Committee starts to chime in with fear based messages, make a thank them for their assistance, send them on vacation if required, and call in your new Everybody Committee who will fill you with supportive and affirming messages that will help you reach your goals and fulfill your desires.

Healing

This world gives us a lot of messages about what we should do and who we should be. And more often than not, we receive a great deal of criticism and experience a tremendous amount of stress based on these external "shoulds," which ultimately become internal "shoulds." There are a lot of layers to peel through to get to what we truly want, and who we truly are.

Years ago, I discovered Louise L. Hay's incredible book You Can Heal Your Life. What I love about this book is how powerful it is in its simplicity. The colorful pages and imagery with Louise's loving and insightful affirmations and meditations are so powerful. I never tire of re-reading chapters or opening to a random page for on-the-spot guidance and inquiry.

Whenever I find a new layer of "shoulds," outside expectations that I've adopted as my own at some point in my life, I pick up the companion book to You Can Heal Your Life, also by Louise L. Hay. You Can Heal Your Life Companion Book has been a powerful tool in my own healing and I often recommend it to both clients and friends who are seeking deep emotional healing and greater self-knowledge. I find myself returning to the exercises in this magical workbook yearly, at minimum. Each time, I experience the exercise in a whole new way. Always, I am astounded at how much I've grown and changed since the last time I completed the exercises, and I am thrilled at how much I have let go of, transformed and created in my life.

You are an incredible light, glowing and growing each day - even if it doesn't appear so at first glance. If you have writings or a workbook you use for growth and change, take a look back at something from a year or more ago. Where were you in your journey? Where are you now? Have you moved forward? Has your thinking changed? Congratulate yourself for any changes and transformations you have made in your life.