Creating what you want: Step 3

Step Three: Set a goal.

Now that you've shifted your focus to what you want (Step 1), and you've really gotten clear on what you want (Step 2), it's time for Step 3 - setting goals.

At first it can seem daunting... "Oh man, I just committed to... - how am I gonna pull that off with all these bills and...". Take a deep breath. Nothing is set in stone, you don't have to do it all at once, and you can always alter your goal over time to fit with any unforeseen changes.

Here are a few general guidelines for setting goals:

1. Set a goal that will be rewarding - it has to be what you truly want with all your heart and soul. (We covered this process in Step 2)
2. Make your goal reasonable and attainable.
3. Set a reasonable timeline.
4. If necessary, break up your goal into smaller, manageable goals with their own time frames.
5. Be flexible.

In Step 2 you have uncovered that glittery truth of what you want - make that into a goal for yourself. It has rich meaning and will feel rewarding when you've attained it. The truth is, if you don't really want it, you won't really strive for it. So, do your inner research.

Because nothing is more discouraging than an unattainable or unmet goal, make your goal reasonable and attainable. Deep inside, you know what is reasonable for yourself, so set a goal you can achieve. If you are relying on other people or businesses for assistance in meeting your goal, ask them what you can expect from them, and what is reasonable for their part or role. Getting a new job by next Tuesday may be possible but it's a bit unreasonable if you haven't done a job search, sent out any resumes, or had any interviews. There are all kinds of things in the process that require time and people you won't have control over (see below for "Be flexible").

If you've got a big goal, make it manageable by breaking it into smaller pieces over an extended period of time. Generally we don't try to shove an entire potato into our mouths, we cut it up into pieces we know we can handle. And we don't typically try to eat an entire pie in one sitting, we have a piece with lunch, a piece with dinner (well, that's how I do it!) This kind of technique works with goal setting, too.

For example, to become physically healthier there may be dozens of things that need to happen and it can be daunting to consider making so many changes all at once. On a sheet of paper put the main goal at the top, and list all of the things you can think of that need to happen in order to achieve this goal. These are your smaller pieces, or smaller goals. If some things need to happen before others can (I may want to see my doctor before starting a new exercise program, or a nutritionist before changing my eating habits) arrange them in the appropriate order. Make each task a focus for the week.

Know when to be flexible! Attachment to details and outcome can make you miss out on the exact thing you wanted. The things you desire may come to you in a different form, or through a different source than you expected. You may realize you actually want something else, or something slightly different than what you've been aiming toward. Or it may take longer than anticipated to achieve your goal. Be open and flexible. Follow your intuition and allow yourself to try unconventional approaches.

Now you're ready for Step 4. Take Action!