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Amy L. Burns, CLCFilled with interesting and inspiring |
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Monday, March 01, 2004WondermentDearest Magnificent Readers,Beautiful spring seems to be upon us! What a wonderful feeling it is to watch the days grow longer and the sun change position in the sky. The air is fresh and crisp when I step outside and I'm reminded of all the wonderment I feel each year as the seasons change. What are you reminded of with the warming weather and longer days? How can you encourage that feeling of wonderment within yourself? In loving kindness, ~Amy Labels: Exercises # posted by Amy L. Burns @ 9:59 AM 0 comments  
Toward A New PerfectionismWhen I think of perfectionism, my back tenses up and I feel a sense of dread. I think to myself, "Oh, no! Not that." There are two sides to this coin toss, and we either consider ourselves perfectionists or not. In either case, the P-word, although associated with doing things with utmost precision and skill, also has that side-kick negative meaning.This brings to mind Cynthia who graciously offered to host a summer party for 15 co-workers, their partners and children. I was baffled when she helped the children fill balloons in the kitchen of her gorgeous Victorian home during a water balloon fight. The baffling part? Dirt, grass and then mud formed on the porch steps and throughout the kitchen as the children ran from the kitchen sink, out into the yard and then back to the kitchen sink. In my home, growing up, water balloon fights could only take place outdoors. And, if it had ever occurred to me to come in the house, I had better have clean feet. If I did track mud into the house, I probably wouldn't have survived my mother's wrath. I expressed my amazement to Cynthia. I couldn't believe she wasn't concerned about her floors. With enthusiasm and joy, she merely told told me, "Floors get wet and muddy. We can just clean it up when we're done!" Floors get wet and they get muddy. We can just clean it up. Cynthia was not attached to having a sparkling floor, and she accepted that the floor would become dirty, and hence, need cleaning. So, by accepting that floors get dirty and can be cleaned, she was able to release herself from the burden of stress she could have experienced. Instead, she had a blast playing with the children. The children had a wonderful time too. What a refreshing perspective. How much weight do we give all of the little details in our lives, and how much do those details run our lives and consume our thoughts? We have such adverse reactions when we spill juice or coffee on the counter or floor. We feel inconvenienced. The experience is stressful and we become angry with ourselves, our children, strangers. At what cost is this to our health and our general sanity? Of course we want to do our very best and keep everything sparkling clean. Of course we want to outshine all the stars around us and be noticed for our brilliance and magnificence. But do we need such a rigid definition of perfection? Do we really need to get so upset when things do not meet our expectations of perfection? We can live more peaceful and stress-free lives if we release our definition of perfection (never getting the floor dirty) and are not in the constant posture of prevention. Similarly, we cannot undo what has already occurred, or change events that have already taken place. Getting upset does not fix the problem, reduce or increase the importance of it, or create happiness and fulfillment in our lives. When we choose not to become trapped in the need for perfection, and instead release our desire to control events and circumstances that are out of our hands, we choose ease, joy and fulfillment in our lives. One of the most powerful lessons I have been learning in this lifetime is the amazing truth of perfection. We, you and I, are already completely perfect. Everything we do, say, and have is exactly perfect for us in this very moment. It is exactly what we need at this moment in order to find whatever we need to learn to follow our life purpose. In fact, since life is a journey (not a destination), every day offers a new opportunity to learn a lesson, transform a habit or experience, and take the next step toward fulfillment. How wonderful is that? Because Cynthia allowed her floor to get dirty, she and the children gained a wonderful playful experience together. And then afterwards, they cleaned up. It was perfect. Like beauty, perfection is a matter of perspective. When something breaks, spills, or doesn't go "our way", it might just be perfect. It might just be exactly what we needed in order to make some other connection that helps us in our goals or life purpose. While writing this, I've decided that I am a new kind of perfectionist. As I learn to let go of my rigid expectations, and all of those rules imposed upon me by my friends, family and society, I am enjoying experiencing true freedom and joy. It has taken me many years to learn how to live a life of ease and joy. I know that there is more joy and ease to be had with every "rule" I release. Where I am at this moment is perfect. Labels: Articles # posted by Amy L. Burns @ 9:16 AM 0 comments
The Road Less Traveled"Once we truly know that life is difficult-once we truly understand and accept it-then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, it no longer matters."- M. Scott Peck, M.D. The Road Less Traveled Labels: Quotes # posted by Amy L. Burns @ 9:04 AM 0 comments
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