Valentines day is approaching and many of us feel the tug of this Hallmark holiday. For some, there are feelings of dread towards this day as it reminds us that we are alone. For others, we take this day as an opportunity to show our gratitude to our partner whom we love and adore.
Regardless of our relationship status, there is one thing that is always required for a loving and successful relationship—our own sense of self-love. How we cultivate love for our self is similar to how we can cultivate success in our lives.
What is it that your truly want for yourself? If you answer "a good relationship" or "a life partner", consider what this means to you. What does it mean to be in a relationship? What does a good relationship look like? What does it mean to have a life partner? What is the essence of each of these?
Perhaps you define a good relationship as one of mutual respect, a sense of joy and romance. Perhaps being in a good relationship signifies to you that you are loved or successful.
Try to separate your actual wants from the wants and "shoulds" your family and friends have for you.
Now that you have considered what you really want and what that means for you, consider your underlying beliefs about love, success, joy or whatever you came up with.
Do you believe that old song "Your nobody 'til somebody loves you?" Or, is your motto "What I first see in myself, others will find in me"?
Well, whatever you believe for yourself is absolutely true, regardless if it supports your wants and desires. Realize that what you believe is true simply because you believe it.
The secret is that you have absolute choice about what you believe. You can choose to continue believing that you are unworthy of love, that you will never find love or aren’t attractive enough. Or instead, you can choose a new belief that will support you in fulfilling your wants and desires.
What beliefs would support you in getting what you want? "I am worthy of love." "There is love for me out there, and when I am ready, we will find each other." "I am incredibly attractive."
The more love and gratitude you feel for yourself, the more love you have for others, and hence more love others will see in you. If we have little or no self-love, how can we expect to hold love for another person? Similarly. How can we expect another person to truly find love in us if we have no love for ourselves?
When we hold ourselves as the highest love, others will feel that love and care self-emanating from us. Wow, is that attractive!
People who love themselves are attracted to others who have great self-love. So, by loving yourself, you ensure that you will be in a good relationship since you will attract someone that is a reflection of your own magnificence.
Certainly we will find the love we desire.
Labels: Exercises
