Amy L. Burns, CLC

Filled with interesting and inspiring
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as they relate to coaching,
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Thursday, January 01, 2004

 

Happy New Year!

I can hardly believe we have begun a new year already. Time seems to fly faster and faster as each year passes. I experienced a tremendous amount of growth and joy in 2003, and as anticipated, I added many new skills and tools to my "coaching toolkit". I am excited to continue to share these with you over the upcoming year.

It takes a great deal of conscious creation to get where we want to be in life. As I clean out my closets and under my bed, I routinely ask myself "does this belief support my core values and my life purpose?" When my answer is "no", I take a step back and let go of the thought, item, or obligation that no longer contributes positively to my fulfillment. Often times this frees up energy or time to recognize and accept incoming opportunities that are aligned with my deepest desires (e.g., comfort, abundance, happiness). When my answer is "yes", I smile and enjoy the satisfaction that accompanies the knowledge that I am being true to myself.

Because it is the beginning of the new year, I thought it only fitting to write about one of several foundational coaching principles - conscious creation. For some it may be a whole new concept. For others, it may already be a part of daily life. Regardless, it is always a wonderful gift of self-care when we reexamine our beliefs about ourselves and about how we approach life.

As you clean out your closets and under your beds, taking stock of your life, consider asking yourself what beliefs best support your truth, and what you would like to focus on this year. And, if you are comfortable, I would love for you to try on the idea that "what you focus on expands" and see if any part of it fits for you.

Sending you great warmth,
~Amy

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# posted by Amy L. Burns @ 9:58 AM 0 comments  

What we focus on expands

Have you ever heard the idea that what we focus on expands? Not only does "it" (what we focus on) expand in our minds, eventually consuming all of our energy and thoughts, but by focusing on "it," our frequency in experiencing "it" increases as well. In other words, the more we focus on fear, the larger our fear grows. We also begin to experience that fear more frequently.

As a child, there was a certain leg-grabbing monster living under my bed, waiting for me each night as I turned the light out. Regardless of my amazing grasp on reality and outstanding sense of logic, I was not swayed by the understanding and genuine belief that no monster existed. I would stand at my door, ready to run and jump into bed the moment I flipped the light switch. I was certain that if my leg neared the gap between my mattress and the floor, the monster would capture me.

The more I focused on the monster and protecting myself from it, the smarter the monster became. This required more intricate "rules" of protection, thus causing the monster to continue expanding in size, intelligence and motivation to capture me. The more I thought about this monster, the more fear and panic I felt. What a terrifying, yet irrational cycle!

As I got older, I defeated the monster by releasing it. Instead of focusing my attention on the monster, what would protect me, or how illogical it was to imagine a monster, I started focusing my attention on something positive and comforting. As a child, I would think about unicorns and rainbows, or talk to my stuffed animals about their days. As a teenager (yes, the monster was still there) I read, listened to music, or thought of beautiful scenery.

As adults, our monsters may no longer live under the bed, but they come in many other forms. Mostly we find them hiding out as our own self-doubt ("I don't know what to do"), negative beliefs we hold about ourselves ("I can't handle crises" or "I'm a horrible person"), and even the negative thoughts or opinions instilled by our friends and family ("You shouldn't do that, you should do this instead" or "That's not really your strong suit").

Fortunately, the principle of expansion can work in any way we choose. It can work for us in a positive or negative way. If we choose to focus on fear, anxiety, anger, poverty or misery, it is most likely that these feelings will grow and we will experience them more frequently. Likewise, if we choose to focus on trust, joy, abundance and comfort, our experience of these feelings will increase. What a wonderful opportunity to take control of our experiences! We can now choose to stop a negative, limiting thought and turn it into a positive, helpful, fulfilling thought.

Knowing that what I focus on will expand, I can choose to focus on what I don't want or what I do want. Focusing on what I don't want will bring me more of what I don't want - that monster. Focusing on what I want will bring me more of what I want - unicorns and rainbows (feel free to substitute your desire here). Now I can choose to focus on beliefs and ideas that support me and bring me closer to my goals and a fulfilling life. "I am open to a wonderful, fulfilling job that utilizes and expands my skills, knowledge and talents." "I have wonderful relationships with caring and trustworthy people." "I choose to eat healthy food that supports and nurtures my body." Sound crazy? Try it for a week and see what happens. The only thing you've got to lose is your monster.

What we focus on expands.

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# posted by Amy L. Burns @ 9:31 AM 0 comments